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Monday, November 4, 2013

chUMp's BIG BULLY CONDUCTS HARD KNOCKS CLINIC (MEDIA DIVERSION COMING SOON)

{Accompanying Music Provided - Press Play at bottom of Post.}

Michigan fans have a multitude of issues to face as they regain consciousness from Saturday's drubbing at the hands of their neighborhood bully. Here are two among many:
  • Coming into the season, we heard the "You Suck" song coming from Ann Arbor dedicated to Michigan State. The chorus line was, "Sparty lost it's best five players from last year's crappy squad". Those out of tune chUMps now have to question why Mark Dantonio is able to improve his team under such circumstances with "MAC level recruits" while Brady Hokester seems to be sliding backward with his program.
  • Worse for UM is that this was the year they really had to make a Run for the Roses. The window is closing on UM to have a realistic opportunity to make a trip to Pasadena with the new divisional alignment starting in 2014. Beginning next year, Michigan will have to get past Penn State, Ohio State, and Michigan State just to reach the B1G Championship and that may be just too much to expect in Ann Arbor for quite some time. Too bad for UM that Ohio State - - -NOT OHIO - - - is joining their new division.

THEIR NEXT DIVERSION TACTIC

You can see it coming, probably at the Tuesday press conference. The shell-shocked Wolverine-loving mass media will come back at Coach Mark Dantonio to test his loyalty to Michigan.
"Coach Dantonio, your team has a lot to gain by Michigan winning this weekend. You've often spoken of how much you like Brady Hoke. So will you be rooting for your friend Brady and his Michigan team this Saturday when they play Nebraska?"
This is the media's favorite question of Mark Dantonio, because they feel that deep down, everyone should be a Wolverines fan. If he says anything other than he'll be rooting for his number-one rival, they will make his response into a headline and turn it into a story. You may also get these questions from your blue-and-yellow friends, so consider your responses.


BE PREPARED: Spartan Rules On Rooting For chUMps:
Consult these rules when a chUMp win is REQUIRED, meaning
MSU no longer can control the outcome of the standings.
Hint: 2012 SUGAR BOWL

  1. First, know that how you root does not effect the result of a game.
  2. Second, go rake the leaves. Do not watch the game. This way you are not rooting for the chUMps on a play-by-play basis. That is just sick.
  3. Third, check the outcome of the game after it is over and celebrate the championship if the Spartans won it and curse the chUMps if they did not come through for us.
  4. Always root for the Spartans.
  5. Never root for the chUMps to win anything.



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6 comments:

  1. The media has already asked (at least once) and Coach Dantonio has answered.

    He said:

    "Oh, I don't know about that,'' Dantonio said on his Sunday night teleconference. "I would just say I can't lose.''

    Mlive.com link:

    http://www.mlive.com/spartans/index.ssf/2013/11/michigan_states_mark_dantonio_79.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. Can we also visit another "Hailed" topic always promoted by the chUMp faithful? Has Sparty been close to them in the recruiting polls ever? Do we not hear annually that they were going to dominate us year after year because of this? If not for a last second field goal at home (chUMp domination) there would be a six game streak working. I think the word domination was mentioned more than once Saturday.

    This reminds me of that other fictitious category they are constantly spewing and that is the annual September Heisman winner. And you know the realignment schedule putting the game back in EL is already an excuse for next year's continued domination of Little Sister.

    ReplyDelete
  3. C-Mann: The two closest games in the Dantonio era were the two that MSU lost. Alls of MSU's have been by wider margins. Here is the question, "Will UM be able to 'close the gap' on MSU while Dantonio is in East Lansing?" During this entire time, it seems everyone was assuming the gap was on the other side. the fact is, it is not and it has not been for quite some time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 6-29 has the spectacular significance of being not only the largest Spartan margin of victory since the 1967 trouncing, but also the lowest points for the Ann Arbor Charm School ball club since that 1967 drubbing.

      I'd have to say the gap is widening.

      Delete
  4. Some of the questions are answered in the following:

    The Myth of a Widening Recruiting Gap - Part 1
    http://spartanresource.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-myth-of-widening-recruiting-gap.html

    The Mythe of a Widening Recruiting Gap - Part 2
    http://spartanresource.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-myth-of-widening-recruiting-gap_12.html

    There IS A Michigan Difference?
    http://spartanresource.blogspot.com/2013/11/there-is-michigan-difference.html

    ReplyDelete
  5. Perhaps in lieu of "Little Sister" we should start using "Little Missygan" a turn of phrase I started using many years ago.

    ReplyDelete

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