WE TOLD YOU DAVID BRANDON WAS A "chUMp"

What a difference a year makes. It was just about this same time in 2013 when University of Michigan Athletic Director David Brandon was riding high in the saddle, sending planes all over the state to emblazon his "Go Blue" message in the bright autumn skies. Including right near Spartan Stadium. On a day UM was playing in Ann Arbor. And barely winning.

But only yesterday, more than 10,000 people signed an online petition to have him removed from office. Then last night, somewhere between several hundred and a couple of thousand rallied on campus to chant against him, culminating in a march to the house of the newly appointed University President, taking their message right to the top of the wolverine food chain. Welcome to Michigan, Mr. Schlissel!

So what happened to bring on the public impeachment? (Besides losing most of their football games since then.) Not so much, really, just David Brandon being who he is. And we told you last year that he was a chUMp of epic proportions.

We awarded Brandon with the "chUMp-of-the-month" title in September 2013, largely for the sky-writing stunt. Then he won the "chUMp-of-the-year" award for his total body of work last year. And he got the monthly distinction again for his failures in January of this year to do anything to correct the nonsense going on all around him. He is a very highly-decorated chUMp.

Perhaps we should call him DAVID BRAND-ON, as he has directed more focus to "branding", "marketing", "advertising", "product labeling", and "selling" than Nike did in the 1980's. You'd almost get the idea he's running a Fortune 500 company that sells manufactured items, instead of a college sports program. On second thought, maybe that's why he was hired in the first place.

We've noticed for decades that the University of Michigan acts like they are so different from everybody else who is in the same class. In other words, college sports programs. Most people view their school athletic teams as student-athletes on a team competing against other similar teams. But UM views their "teams" as "products on the field". And they proceed accordingly.

Well, product-loyalty only lasts as long as product-quality in the business world. Okay, maybe a little longer, as people have a tendency to stick to a brand for awhile even if the price goes up or the quality goes down. Hey, isn't that what's happening with Michigan Football?

The UM football "product" started to decline in quality more than a decade ago, with noticeable performance drop-offs during the past seven years. Most fans stuck with the program until the costs of doing so gradually rose to record high levels. From a business standpoint, Michigan Football is now a lower-quality product that costs more than ever. Hence, the petition-drives, the march on campus, and the empty seats on game-day.

So enjoy the mess that David Brandon made, and remember he did so at the bidding of many other (largely invisible) people who view the UM Athletic Department as a business investment first, and a school with students who play sports second. Quite a soap-opera in Ann Arbor these days.

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THE "chUMp-of-the-Month" FOR JANUARY 2014 IS DAVID BRANDON

January started slowly but turned into another busy month for chUMp activity. After the exhaustive race to name the 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" (David Brandon), it looked like a slow month for the weasel-cousins.

• Then Brady Hoke stood mute at a press conference to introduce the man he supposedly had selected to replace the man he said would not be leaving. Not even a "no comment" from the purported leader-of-the-best.
• Then Nik Stauskas blew a kiss to the Breslin Center audience after the three-minute stretch-run that allowed Michigan to steal a win by five points. Without Payne and Dawson, of course.
• Then the Brendan Gibbons scandal blew up, as the Wolverine Rapist was finally identified (formally) after the cryptic articles about him in 2009 and 2010. Those were the articles that Hoke and Brandon didn't ever read, of course.

So we have some candidates to consider for the monthly award!

Hoke sure looked silly standing around in a background role at what seemed to be his press conference to announce his hire. That's dorky, and he's a doofus for playing puppet like that, but not necessarily a "chUMp" for it. Hoke finishes with another runner-up award, and with it, a dozen free donuts from Tim Horton's.

Stauskas showed his arrogant colors with the blown kiss, but it seemed a bit isolated and arguably out of character. He didn't mouth off before the game the way that Fitz Toussaint did last fall before the beat-down. He didn't carry on after the game the way that Taylor Lewan did after losing to MSU and Ohio STATE. So he was a dink, but not necessarily a chUMp.

Speaking of blown kisses, it seems like that's what Gibbons did all those years ago. He took a chance to be a man and turned himself into a rodent. His own university expelled him, but only after his coach "covered for him". He is certainly and definitely a chUMp. But his main transgressions took place more than four years earlier, and his identity was released last summer, so it's not timely to tag him in January with the dishonor.

That leaves just one final candidate to consider for "chUMp-of-the-Month". This is a man who has influence, if not direct control and/or authority, over ALL of these chUMpish things. You know who he is:

DAVID BRANDON

Brandon didn't have to play Hoke like a puppet at the Nussmeier press conference, but he did. Brandon sticks his nose so deeply into the UM team locker rooms that he could have talked to John Beilein about keeping it real at Breslin, and avoiding the creation of new material to fight over in the future. And he could have shown actual leadership when taking over the job by cleaning up the problems that he found when he got there. (Like the Gibbons/Lewan problems.) Wasn't that the reason he was hired?

Brandon has no rightful place in public employment. He is perpetuating the worst of the "Michigan Difference" on a daily basis, from sky-writing to lying to puppetry. He is an absolute disgrace to the entire State of Michigan.




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THE "chUMp-of-the-Year" FOR 2013 is DAVID BRANDON

The 2013 "chUMp-of-the-year" is DAVID BRANDON. The skywriting stunt was enough to get him the first monthly award in September, and now he has the first annual dishonor as well. He is truly King chUMp.

The competition between a wide array of chUMps was very close, finishing in a virtual three-way tie between Brandon, Desmond Howard, and Taylor Lewan. All had solid chUMp credentials, and all were worthy of the award.

With all due disrespect for Desmond Howard! If ever there was a chUMp who wanted to be King, it would be Howard. His stupid commentaries about Spartan Football made a fool of himself and his employer. But while Howard has established himself firmly with his chUMp credentials, Brandon is older, so he should know better. He also has the authority to straighten up chUMp culture, but he chooses to perpetuate it. He is definitely guilty of extreme chUMpy-ness.

Here is the way several of our readers saw the situation:

MSUSpartan76:

"Father Noid is my vote. Who is worse, the idiot or the idiot who hired the idiot? Not only did he hire the sky writers, he then went on to claim they were off course, that it happened all over the state (except over Michigan Stadium), then tried to minimize it by claiming it cost (out of athletic department funds) much less than what the sky writers said it cost. To continue his arrogance (a quality valued by chUMps), he did not bother to try to match the MSU Alumni fund raising for a significant charity. Had he done so, he could have regained a measure of respect.

"No respect. Arrogance. Ability to simultaneously talk out of both sides at the same time. Idiot. Makes for a chUMp."

return2glory:

"David Brandon is the leader. He could cure the culture, but he has proven to be a true-blue chUMp. He sets the tone in the sports department. He is totally cool with his coaches and players referring to another Big Ten institution with the name of an institution in the MAC as an insult ("Ohio"). If fans want to do that, fine - he has no authority over them, but players and coaches in multiple sports? Pre-2013, he allowed this childish practice to continue even after his basketball team got beat by that very MAC team wearing green and white in the NCAA Tournament. His DECISION to arrange and pay for the the skywriting of GO BLUE in the sky above Spartan Stadium on game day was childish and his lies related to it, despicable. His actions raised the levels of chUMpitis through all of Blue Nation. He is the leader. David Brandon is king chUMp."

From "Anonymous":

"I know in my heart I'm supposed to say Brandon. He's older, should know better, and yet still makes decisions - not to mention the comments made regarding those decisions - that baffle the mind. What is wrong with this man?"

More from MSUSpartan76:

"Which is more deserving: the thug or the head chUMp in charge who allowed the thug to continue his thuggish ways? No one can convince me that Father Noid had neither the means nor the opportunity to curb that thugly skunkbear.

"Which is more deserving: some nerdy kid with black plastic glasses pretending he is some super star celebrity or the head chUMp in charge who should be answering for everything involving those "arrogant asses in Ann Arbor." No one can convince me that Father Noid had no opportunity or means to keep a chUMp from painting himself urine on national TV for a game in which the Ann Arbor Charm School ball club did not even contend."

"Father Noid, the Head chUMp In-charge."

Brandon must have caught wind of his nomination for the annual award, as he has been "lobbying" for it the past several weeks. First he fires Al Borges and claims that Hoke actually did it. Then he holds a press conference where he does all of the talking and won't let Hoke answer any questions. Then he comes out of nowhere to deny that he did those things. Then he claims that he rooted for MSU in the Rose Bowl and was "proud" of them for winning. Wait, what's that, "proud"? He's saying he's "proud" of us, huh? Looks like we'll talking about him again at the end of the month.




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LEWAN MISSES OUT ON 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" AWARD, COMPETITION NOW BETWEEN BRANDON AND HOWARD

Taylor Lewan has been named "Second Runner-Up" in the 2013 "chUMp of the Year" competition, leaving David Brandon and Desmond Howard to vie for the title.

The virtual three-way tie between Lewan/Brandon/Howard was essentially broken by virtue of the first tie-breaker, which is age. While all three rightly earned their chUMp recognition, Lewan is viewed with more leniency since he is still a young pup. Theoretically, there is time for him to repent. The older candidates should (theoretically) know better.

Therefore, Lewan finishes as the three-seed, with the winner to be announced tomorrow on this web site.




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2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" FINALIST PROFILE: DAVID BRANDON

The 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" race has come down to three finalists, Taylor Lewan, Desmond Howard, and David Brandon. Today we make the case for Brandon to be crowned King chUMp for 2013.

I can still remember that September Saturday as we were driving to the Michigan State football game, and what did we see up in the otherwise blue sky but a smoke message that said "Go Blue". For many people, this was the incident that introduced them to David Brandon. His obfuscated responses to many inquiries about this over-the-top stunt revealed Brandon to be a consummate dodge-artist, as well as a Machiavellan puppeteer.

It's unusual to think of an Athletic Director as "King chUMp", but consider their universe in obverse relation to our own. We have Mark Hollis, an AD that is busting the performance-bar for his profession, setting new marks for innovation on a regular basis, and steering the Michigan State programs to unprecedented success across the board. He has raised a great deal of money and established sound financial practices to work within his limited budgets. (e.g., When was the last time we kept paying a coach who we fired?)

So perhaps it's realistic to recognize that as good and effective and dignified Mark Hollis is, his counterpart on The Dark Side may be as corrupt as Hollis is clean. That's consistent with what Anonymous told us:

"I know in my heart I'm supposed to say Brandon. He's older, should know better, and yet still makes decisions - not to mention the comments made regarding those decisions - that baffle the mind. What is wrong with this man?"

MSUSpartan76 made a compelling case for David Brandon as King chUMp, making his pizza background into a silly nickname:

"Father Noid is my vote. Who is worse, the idiot or the idiot who hired the idiot? Da blane! Da blane! Not only did he hire the sky writers, he then went on to claim they were off course, that it happened all over the state (except over Michigan Stadium), then tried to minimize it by claiming it cost (out of athletic department funds) much less than what the sky writers said it cost. To continue his arrogance (a quality valued by chUMps), he did not bother to try to match the MSU Alumni fund raising for a significant charity. Had he done so, he could have regained a measure of respect.

"No respect. Arrogance. Ability to simultaneously talk out of both sides at the same time. Idiot. Makes for a chUMp."

Another huge vote comes from ReturnToGlory (R2G):

"David Brandon is the leader. He could cure the culture, but he has proven to be a true-blue chUMp. He sets the tone in the sports department. He is totally cool with his coaches and players referring to another Big Ten institution with the name of an institution in the MAC as an insult ("Ohio"). If fans want to do that, fine - he has no authority over them, but players and coaches in multiple sports? Pre-2013, he allowed this childish practice to continue even after his basketball team got beat by that very MAC team wearing green and white in the NCAA Tournament. His DECISION to arrange and pay for the the skywriting of GO BLUE in the sky above Spartan Stadium on game day was childish and his lies related to it, despicable. His actions raised the levels of chUMpitis through all of Blue Nation. He is the leader. David Brandon is king chUMp."

R2G makes the key observation that dozens of these silly "Ohio" references were made publicly, officially,  and consistently all through 2013. While Brandon himself may not be saying the word, he holds the authority to put a stop to the silly games started by Brady Hoke upon his return to UM. And while nobody got a "chump-of-the-Month" citation for calling the Buckeyes "Ohio", perhaps somebody should have gotten one. In the view of R2G, all "Ohio" references track back to Brandon, and that alone may be enough to win the annual prize.

Brandon is the last Finalist to be profiled on this web site. The final decision on 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" is coming this week. You may still have a voice in the process by commenting your vote!




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2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" FINALIST PROFILE: DESMOND HOWARD

The 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" race has come down to three finalists, Taylor Lewan, Desmond Howard, and David Brandon. Today we make the case for Howard to be crowned King chUMp for 2013.

Howard's main point of misbehavior in college comes mostly in retrospect, as a more mature consideration of his "Heisman-pose" suggests he was over-the-line with that stunt. But there hasn't been much to complain about with him until recently, as he's been using his commercial sports commentator job to toss around a lot of trash about Michigan State. It was bad enough in September, when Howard was dishonorably-mentioned for his disparaging remarks about MSU Football. But it continued all season, right down to a half-time prediction at the Rose Bowl, in which he called for a runaway Stanford victory. His views on the Spartans placed him so far off the curve, and made him so consistently wrong, that one might think his employer would begin to notice.

We first consider this comment from "Anonymous", regarding the trophy-posing commentator:

"I really believe the vote has to go Desmond Howard. This man sits on a major media platform, watched by thousands of future D-1 football recruits and parent alike. The man is so ingrained in chUMp love that he can't be professional for even the shortest of segments and give other teams their due respect. The man talked about the MSU Defense being "good but "not great", and he referred to the MSU Offense as being inept "because that is Dantonio ball". He stated that Stanford would "run away with the Rose Bowl in the second half" due to the adjustments made at halftime. His hatred for MSU I'm sure goes right to "#No. 1 vs No One", where he dropped the final pass in the endzone to cost UM a possible victory. Pass Interference? Maybe. A pure Drop? Absolutely."

Perhaps the most compelling case for Howard comes from "MadisonMegaPlans", who says:

"Mine is Desmond Howard for sure. He is supposed to be some kind of promulgator of football knowledge, instead he is a poor excuse for what he is supposed to be. Sure, it's entertainment, but for football fans it needs to attain a reasonable standard of expertise minus the bias. From the beginning of the season he downplayed and downgraded the defense. He picked against State when they played UM, OSU and of course the 17 point spread he predicted for a Stanford win. State hasn't given up 30 points since the BCG against Wisc. in 2011. Only 2 teams have scored 28 points over the past two seasons. So Stanford was going to somehow blow us out by 17? It was a totally punk-ass statement that he stuck with through halftime. Keep in mind he is part of a group of UM players from the 90's that have this totally elitist attitude toward the Spartans, stating that MSU should not be mentioned in the same sentence with UM. Any win MSU got back then was the result of some freak play or whatever. He cannot let go of that and admitting the truth in the face of evidence is more than he is capable of. I get nauseated just hearing him speak."

But MSUSpartan76 does not think Howard should get the trophy:

"Desmond Howard is just irrelevant. Someone needs to tell him. Then again, he won't believe anything anyone tells him.

"Desmond Howard is working to be replaced with someone who (a) does not look like a nerd and (b) actually knows something about football."

Howard mouthed-off against MSU all football season, using his paid position to denigrate his hated rival, while claiming the Spartans were only the #3 rival for UM.

What do you think? Should Desmond Howard be anointed King chUMp for 2013? Add your vote by commenting below.

The third Finalist, David Brandon,

will be profiled tomorrow on this web site.

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2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" FINALIST PROFILE: TAYLOR LEWAN

The 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" race has come down to three finalists, Taylor Lewan, Desmond Howard, and David Brandon. Today we make the case for Lewan to be crowned King chUMp for 2013.

Lewan was named "chUMp-of-the-Month" in December 2013, largely based on the police investigation into reports that he assaulted civilians wearing Ohio STATE apparel the night after losing to the Buckeyes in Ann Arbor. Here's what we said back then:

Mister Big Pretty Boy ended the month by losing to Ohio STATE at home and then carrying on about how nothing matters pretty much at all except for "being Michigan". Okay, ugh, what a doofus. Like we haven't heard all that claptrap before.

But it turns out that Mister Bloody Forehead decided to meet up with a few Buckeyes after the game, as in, way-y-y-y-y-y after the game. Like after midnight, the first day of December. Not actual players, mind you, just some fans of Brutus. And he might just have beaten one or two of them up. Maybe a little stomping. He might have had some police protection. Then he went ahead and played in the bowl game. That Hoke is such a strict disciplinarian!

It was Lewan who provoked and pummeled William Gholston two years ago, including the infamous play during which Lewan held Gholston to the ground by his facemask on the backside of a long play while nobody was looking that way. It was after being held down for several seconds that Gholson jumped up and slapped Lewan on the side of his helmet, drawing the penalty. But that was 2011.

In the 29-6 game on November 2nd, Lewan was observed through post-game video review committing multiple un-called penalties, including helmet-twisting on the backside of a long play. That was after he said UM had been "bullied" by MSU in the 2011 game, but before he said it happened again, which he said the week after the 2013 game.

Lewan has garnered some reader support for the nomination. Consider these comments from "Anonymous":

"First instinct is a bright, flashing red blinker over the bloodied forehead of Taylor Lewan. It's so hard to even consider anyone else when you've got that psycho in the mix.

"He very likely attacked some OSU fans (an act not inconsistent with his character), hours after a loss. This followed not-so-nicely his earlier having very likely threatened a female with a re-rape (another act - the threat, at least - seemingly not inconsistent with his character).

"His brutality carried over to his on-field performance, most noticeably during the MSU trouncing of UM.  

"His tortured interpretation of the state of UM Football reflected his own narcissism and delusional elitism (this last being not so uncommon amongst UM faithful). This is perhaps most evident in his comments in the presser after the OSU game. 

"The guy is just dangerous. All the more dangerous considering he seems to have been enabled in his lunacy by AAPD, Hoke and Co., refs, and the press, among others."

MSUSpartan76 was quick to the point, when he said, "Taylor Lewan belongs in jail." He later added, "We expect Taylor Lewan, and Royce Jenkins-Stone to share a cell, with Fitz Toussaint performing janitorial services for their cell-block."

As the process continued and Lewan advanced at every step, our "Anonymous" reader summed up the difficulty of the decision:

"But the wacko-factor compels me to vote for Lewan. Big, nasty, mentally unbalanced (we can assume, given the behavior), with a chip weighing down his massive shoulders, and unencumbered by any semblance of moral restraint. Unless he makes some serious adjustments - with the assistance of professionals - my Chump of the Year might well be wearing prison blues soon enough. That is, if he leaves any witnesses."

Even C-Mann79 has weighed-in on the balloting:

"I cast my ballot for top chUMp of 2013 for our boy Taylor Lewan. I was at Lucas Oil Stadium for this year's B1G Championship and watched the boy wonder accept some offensive lineman award. When 80,000 joined in a chorus of disapproval as his name was announced he had a huge belly laugh as he filled the stadium's big screens.

"Mr. chUMp, you earned these boo's not because you play for a conference rival. You earned them because you continue to call your rival's Ohio and Little Brother. You earned them because you play like you have all ready been drafted by the Oakland Raiders for your dirty play. (Justice would be served if he has to block for his Ohio friend, Terrelle Pryor.) You earned them because of your off the field escapades. You earned earned them because your truly are a chUMp. Your varsity mug shot should be emblazoned next to the definition of a chUMp on this website for the year for you truly earned that designation for 2013."

There has been no further news on the police investigation into Lewan's behavior after midnight on December 1st. The reports that came out on December 24 can be found by "googling" TAYLOR LEWAN POLICE INVESTIGATION.

One final note is to recall the comments Lewan made in the days after losing to Ohio STATE. He basically said, "No matter that we lost, we're still better, na-na-na-billygoat!"

So now we leave it to you one final time, if you haven't commented your vote yet, please do so below.




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2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" FINAL VOTING GOES INTO OVERTIME

When we look back at the year 2013, we will probably realize that it was a really great year for chUMps. Meaning, there were a lot of them, doing a lot of chUMpy things. And we only started keeping track in September.

We have named three Finalists for the "chUMp-of-the-Year" award, and the race is virtually a dead-heat. This showdown is basically a tie between three prominent chUMps; a current player, a former player, and an administrator:

TAYLOR LEWAN

DESMOND HOWARD

DAVID BRANDON

In the next three days, we will make the case for each of these candidates. We will use reader comments to explain why each of these chUMps was the Grand Marshall of 2013. Please be sure to add your comments to each article, as the final winner has not yet been determined.




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HERE ARE THREE FINALISTS FOR THE 2013 "chUMp of the Year"

We've reached the final round of voting for the 2013 "chUMp of the Year" award. There are three finalists from which to choose:

DAVID BRANDON

DESMOND HOWARD

TAYLOR LEWAN

Brandon and Lewan earned "chUMp-of-the-Month" awards in 2013, while Howard was recognized for "dishonorable mention" in a September that was filled with chUMpy behavior.

The two "dishonorable mention" awardees who fell out of the competition were Fitz Toussaint, Royce Jenkins-Stone, and Brady Hoke. Here are the reasons why they were nominated and subsequently passed over for "chUMp-of-the-Year":

FITZ TOUSSAINT was named "chUMp-of-the-Month" in October, for opening his big mouth before playing MSU and calling Spartan Nation "Little Brother. Apparently, he just couldn't help himself. But he got punked-out on game-day and basically lost his job afterwards, so we'll just call that enough punishment for one chUMp.

ROYCE JENKINS-STONE was named "chUMp-of-the-Month" in November, for openly assaulting Ohio STATE kick-returner Dontre Wilson after a wicked horse-collar tackle that was not penalized since the game was being played by "Michigan Rules" in the Pig House. (They've been known to use their own rules before.) When you watch the video of the incident, you can clearly see a group of UM players surround the OSU player as the play ends, standing over him and shouting trash at point-blank range. But it was Jenkins-Stone who jumped on Dontre Wilson and started to fight him in broad daylight. However, this punk took a dive straight into obscurity after that game, so we'll just call this a case of chUMp-and-run. 

BRADY HOKE was mentioned in dishonor in December, for repeatedly claiming a broken foot is actually "a case of "turf-toe". Forget the donuts and the headsets and the assistant coaches and all of that stuff, what about outright LYING TO THE PUBLIC? Devin Gardner was on crutches, in a walking-boot, and not practicing for weeks, but Hoke kept telling everybody it was all due to a case of "turf-toe". Then, practically at the last second before the bowl game, word comes out that Gardner broke his foot against Ohio State. In other words, not turf-toe. So it's fair now to say that Brady Hoke is a big fat liar. But since he has delivered 11 losses the past two years, we don't want to ruffle his feathers too much, so we'll let him get back to "his work".

We request your comments to help select the 2013 Winner! Please click on "1 comment" below and vote for any of these candidates.

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THESE ARE YOUR SIX SEMI-FINALISTS FOR THE 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" AWARD

Voting has begun for the 2013 "chUMp-of-the-year" award, with six nominees reaching the semi-final round. 

There were four "chUMp-of-the-month" awards last year, and all monthly winners are automatic qualifiers for the annual finals. The 2013 "chUMps-of-the-month" were:

SEPTEMBER - DAVID BRANDON

OCTOBER - FITZ TOUSSAINT

NOVEMBER - #59 ROYCE JENKINS-STONE

DECEMBER - TAYLOR LEWAN

The two other semi-finalists were drawn from the "dishonorable mention" recipients from last year, and they are:

Brady Hoke
Desmond Howard

The two "dishonorable mention" awardees who fell out of the competition were Denard Robinson and Jalen Rose.

Denard Robinson was mentioned in dishonor for calling MSU his "little brother", after he finished 1-3 against his #3 rival, scoring two touchdowns while throwing five picks in four games, along with just over three yards per rush. He was eliminated because we enjoyed beating him down so much that we just want him to move along. 

Jalen Rose was mentioned in dishonor for advocating that amateur sports become professional, perhaps to justify his former status as an amateur/professional in "college". The former crack-house visitor needlessly took a shot at MSU, proving that he is a chUMp acting like a "Michigan Man". Rose graduated from the University of Maryland in 2005. He was eliminated because he's an absolute Turkey and we wish he would just cluck-cluck himself.

So here, in alphabetical order, are your six semi-finalist nominees for the 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" award:

David Brandon

Brady Hoke

Desmond Howard

Royce Jenkins-Stone

Taylor Lewan

Fitz Toussaint

We will accept your comments to help narrow down this list to three finalists. Please click on "3 comments" below and add your two-cents-worth on any of these candidates. The semi-finalist list will be posted this week.

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2013 "chUMp of the Year" VOTING TO BEGIN THIS WEEKEND

You can cast your vote for the 2013 "chUMp-of-the-year" award this weekend, with six nominees to be announced on Sunday. Watch this web site for details.

There were four "chUMp-of-the-month" awards last year, and all monthly winners are automatic qualifiers for the annual finals. Two other chUMps will be selected from the "dishonorable mention" recipients for a total of six semi-finalists. Three finalists will advance to next week, with a winner to be named next weekend.

The 2013 "chUMps-of-the-month" were:

SEPTEMBER - DAVID BRANDON

OCTOBER - FITZ TOUSSAINT

NOVEMBER - #59 ROYCE JENKINS-STONE

DECEMBER - TAYLOR LEWAN

Those cited for "dishonorable mention" were:

Frank Beckmann
Lloyd Carr
Brady Hoke
Desmond Howard
Denard Robinson
Jalen Rose
A.J. Williams

Based on early returns, we will remove three of the "dishonorably mentioned" to leave eight candidates to be narrowed to six this weekend. The three who have been taken off the first ballot include:

1. A.J. Williams, because all he did was go out drinking with a bunch of Buckeyes after a ballgame, which is similar to what Taylor Lewan did, except Lewan was punching and stomping on them while Williams was playing quarter-bounce (then driving). Williams is out because he's young and stupid, though he still qualifies as a chUMp.
2. Frank Beckmann, because all he did was print an incoherent rant about some social situation that was far over his uneducated head. That's what he gets for working in a university setting without a university degree. Beckmann is out because he's old and stupid, though he is undoubtedly a chUMp.
3. Lloyd Carr, because he wasn't arrested for drunk and disorderly like Gary Moeller. He just mumbled some crazy musings about retirement life or something. Carr is out because he's an old fart, and because if the UM intelligentsia can give Carr the heave-ho from coaching, we can chuck him from our contest.

So the weekend ballot looks like this, with candidates listed in alphabetical order:

David Brandon
Brady Hoke
Desmond Howard
Taylor Lewan
Royce Jenkins-Stone
Denard Robinson
Jalen Rose
Fitz Toussaint

We will accept your comments to help narrow down this list to six semi-finalists. Please click on "1 comment" below and add your two-cents-worth on any of these candidates. The semi-finalist list will be posted this weekend to start the formal voting period.

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VOTING TO BEGIN SOON ON THE 2013 "chUMp-of-the-year" AWARD

Our Happy New Year means it's time to select the recipient of the 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" award! This monthly feature began only four months ago, so the candidates for the big title will include not only the four monthly "winners", but also the runners-up as noted each month. We will accept YOUR VOTES to determine the rightful awardee.

To review, here are the 2013 "chUMps-of-the-month":

SEPTEMBER - DAVID BRANDON

Those receiving "dishonorable mention" in September include

Denard Robinson, Desmond Howard, and Jalen Rose.

OCTOBER - FITZ TOUSSAINT

Those receiving "dishonorable mention" in October include

Lloyd Carr, Frank Beckmann, and A.J. Williams.

NOVEMBER - #59 ROYCE JENKINS-STONE

The "dishonorable mention" recipient was Taylor Lewan.

DECEMBER - TAYLOR LEWAN

The "dishonorable mention" recipient was Brady Hoke.

Here are the candidates for 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year", listed in alphabetical order:

Frank Beckmann

David Brandon

Lloyd Carr

Brady Hoke

Desmond Howard

Royce Jenkins-Stone

Taylor Lewan

Denard Robinson

Jalen Rose

Fitz Toussaint

A.J. Williams

We will accept your comments to help narrow down this list to six semi-finalists. Please click on "6 comments" below and add your two-cents-worth on any of these candidates. The semi-finalist list will be posted this weekend to start the formal voting period.




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THE DECEMBER 2013 "chUMp-of-the-month" IS TAYLOR LEWAN

Have you noticed how quiet it's been in chUMp-town this month? We don't seem to be hearing so many claims of supremacy and greatness from the Wolverines recently. Maybe the football team losing six out of seven games while the basketball team dropped from preseason #7 to unranked has something to do with it.

[Please forgive our tardiness with this monthly feature, but we simply got caught up in the Rose Bowl, and then carrying on a bit afterwards. Sorry about that. Not really!]

Still, it's time to announce the "chUMp-of-the-month" for December 2013. Before identifying the winner, let's give discredit where discredit is due, and mention the runner-up.

How about BRADY HOKE, the guy who claims a broken foot is actually a case of "turf-toe". Forget the donuts and the headsets and the assistant coaches and all of that stuff, what about outright LYING TO THE PUBLIC? Devin Gardner was on crutches, in a walking-boot, and not practicing for weeks, but Hoke kept telling everybody it was all due to a case of "turf-toe". Then, practically at the last second before the bowl game, word comes out that Gardner broke his foot against Ohio State. In other words, not turf-toe. So it's fair now to say that Brady Hoke is a big fat liar.

But Hoke still finishes second to the man-boy who has earned the dishonor in true Michigan style - - - by mouthing off endlessly, regardless of circumstances, about how great they all are who wear the yellow and blue. The December 2013 "chUMp-of-the-month" is..........

TAYLOR LEWAN

Mister Big Pretty Boy ended the month by losing to Ohio STATE at home and then carrying on about how nothing matters pretty much at all except for "being Michigan". Okay, ugh, what a doofus. Like we haven't heard all that claptrap before.

But it turns out that Mister Bloody Forehead decided to meet up with a few Buckeyes after the game, as in, way-y-y-y-y-y after the game. Like after midnight, the first day of December. Not actual players, mind you, just some fans of Brutus. And he might just have beaten one or two of them up. Maybe a little stomping. He might have had some police protection. Then he went ahead and played in the bowl game. That Hoke is such a strict disciplinarian!

Either way, the Ann Arbor Police Department is conducting a formal investigation into whether or not Taylor Lewan did, in fact, commit assault on December 1, 2013. And that's enough to earn "chUMp-of-the-month".




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THE NOVEMBER 2013 chUMp OF THE MONTH IS PLAYER #52, ROYCE JENKINS-STONE

Another month has drawn to a close, so it's time to announce the "chUMp of the Month" for November 2013.

You may recall our past dis-honorees, the "chUMps of the Month" for September and October, David Brandon and Fitzgerald Toussaint. Brandon earned the demerit with his silly stunt of sky-writing gibberish all over the Michigan sky, including near Spartan Stadium just before his lousy team almost lost to Akron. Fitzy-the-mouth got the razz for fuming at the pie-hole during the week before playing MSU by inexplicably calling the Spartans "his little brother" before rushing for a whopping 20 yards in an historic loss in East Lansing.

So it was looking like the King chUmp this month was likely to be that assault-and-battery specialist, pretty-boy Taylor Lewan. After all, he opened his fat trap before the big game to say that he and his buddies had been "bullied" by Michigan State last year, and they weren't going to let that happen again. Then after the game, he said it happened again. That was in-between "apologizing" for committing innumerable personal fouls that were caught on video but were not penalized during the game. Lewan was certainly the leader on the ticket for November "chUMp of the Month".

But then came "The (so-called) Game" between UM and OSU and we all saw what happened in that one. It was sort of like a new twist on an old cliche'; "I went to a backyard brawl and a brawl broke out." Except it was supposed to be a college football game, played by the rules you find in the rule book, not an actual fight.

But for the umpteenth time, Wolverine athletes showed they want to fight more than they want to play their sport. And for shamelessly starting the biggest on-field fight by UM players in recent memory, we award the November 2013 "chUMp of the Month" to......

#52, Royce Jenkins-Stone

It was this Little Boy Blue who openly assaulted Ohio STATE kick-returner Dontre Wilson after a wicked horse-collar tackle that was not penalized since the game was being played by "Michigan Rules" in the Pig House. (They've been known to use their own rules before.) When you watch the video of the incident, you can clearly see a group of UM players surround the OSU player as the play ends, standing over him and shouting trash at point-blank range. But it was Jenkins-Stone who jumped on Dontre Wilson and started to fight him in broad daylight. Naturally, Dontre Wilson fought back, only to be chucked from the game along with a teammate, while the weasel-loving officials protected all of the assailants except for Jenkins-Stone.

Whatever happens to this classless punk and his trashy cohorts is yet to be determined, and won't likely be sufficient based on their disgusting behavior. But let the record show that Royce Jenkins-Stone is the "chUMp of the Month" and has earned an automatic nomination for the Wolverine Hall of Shame (which will be announced in the future on this web site).

Here is his Twitter account:  https://twitter.com/UMRJS52

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THE OCTOBER 2013 chUMp OF THE MONTH IS FITZ TOUSSAINT

We've reached the end of another month, this one marked by the splash of fall colors mixed with plenty of rain on the final day. In honor of Halloween, we remember one of the most famous witches ever, as we ask the age-old question: "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who was the biggest chUMp of them all?"

This was a surprisingly quiet month on the chUMp front, nothing like September. Last month was like a never-ending episode of "chUMps gone wild" by comparison to October. But, as always, there are some chUMps worth mentioning, based on their actions and words this month, not just their prior reputation.

So let's start with the Dishonorable Mentions for October, including the following notable chUMps:

• Lloyd Carr: The old coach was blurry about why he ever "retired", but he said his memory of the 2001 game was crisp and clear. He thinks there was a fraction of a second to argue about in that game, but he forgets the 2008 game when the UM Replay Official actually gave seven points to Michigan on an incorrect application of the rules. Besides, Lloyd acted so indignant on the day Gary Moeller was fired, then took his job a few days later. Carr is definitely a chUMp.
• Frank Beckmann: Speaking of another "Michigan Man" who is "retiring", the old codger tried to make fun of MSU for not winning a national championship since the 1950s, when his team counts "national championships" from before the NCAA started tracking football. That just dUMb, Frankie. You're a chUMp.
• A.J. Williams: Here's a current player on the Michigan team who gets popped for DUI during MSU week, so he got suspended for the game this weekend. What a dork, eh? He's earning his skunkbear stripes, so we'll call him a chUMp.

But the biggest award each month goes to the individual who most epitomizes the rich culture of chUMpdom. And this month, the whiner is.........

FITZGERALD TOUSSAINT

Here's a guy who was pulled over for running a stop sign, booked for drunk driving, and pleaded guilty to a DUI just before August camp started in 2012, drawing a team suspension and messing up the start to his junior season. And now he's back. And yapping.

Fitzy No Saint must have attended the Mike Hart School of Bigmouth Blabbering during all of his free time. He actually decided that MSU Week was the right time to call Spartan Nation "Little Brother". Apparently, he just couldn't help himself. When Hart hyper-extended his pie-hole, he was actually done playing Michigan State; he didn't have to face us again. But Fitzy is coming over to our house on Saturday afternoon, so he chose a very clever time to call our team names.

Turns out he was previously caught driving with a suspended license, but that was when he was a freshman oh-so-many-years-ago (2010). Funny thing is, his DUI was caught on tape and posted for all to see, here, and here, and here.

He may be a Blue Saint to some, but he's the

chUMp-of-the-month to us, and we are very

much looking forward to seeing him in the game

on Saturday, hopefully with the football in his hands.

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THE SEPTEMBER 2013 chUMp of THE MONTH: DAVID BRANDON

Time to announce our September 2013 "chUMp of the month" award. First a quick look back at the August winners, and then we hand out Dishonorable Mention awards for this month.

The "chUMps of the month" for August 2013 were those two flame-throwing Michigan wrestlers. They were handed Probation last month for their antics following the Louisville victory in early April. (And by "antics", we mean "domestic terrorism".) Justin Dozier and Rosario Bruno were suspended from the UM Wrestling team more than a month later, when charges were announced in the case. No reports of their sentences can be found anywhere on the world-wide-web. Except here, of course.

The September 2013 "chUMp of the month" Dishonorable Mention category features three whiners this week. The whiners are:

• Denard Robinson, for calling MSU his "little brother", after he finished 1-3 against his #3 rival, scoring two touchdowns while throwing five picks in four games, along with just over three yards per rush.
• Desmond Howard, for living in the past when he also ranked MSU #3 on the rivals list, despite his alma mater's better record against Notre Dame the last five years.
• Jalen Rose, for advocating that amateur sports become professional, perhaps to justify his former status as an amateur/professional in "college". The former crack-house visitor needlessly took a shot at MSU, proving that he is a chUMp acting like a "Michigan Man". Rose graduated from the University of Maryland in 2005.

It has certainly been a busy month for chUMp NatiOn! Any of those dishonorable chUMps would have qualified for the grand honor in some other month of the year. But September 2013 has featured a veritable "chUMps gone wild" feel all month long. Hard to believe there is one nominee who exemplified true chUMpdom more than those listed above, but there is such a nominee.

The September, 2013 chUMp of the month is:

DAVID BRANDON

As everybody knows, the University of Michigan Athletic Director hired a skywriting airplane service to paint the sky with messages, including the infamous "Go Blue" near Spartan Stadium, on September 14th about an hour before the MSU game was set to begin. What a first-rate chUMp.

Brandon used public money to pay for the stunt, regardless of the university accounting claims. The entire athletic department is part of a public institution, so the whole operation is public. This was a public expense, made in public by a public official.

Message to David Brandon: "Hey Dave, wouldn't it have been easier to just go ahead and order that prescription of Viagra to accomplish your goals? Just a thought."

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