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Sunday, January 5, 2014

THE DECEMBER 2013 "chUMp-of-the-month" IS TAYLOR LEWAN

Have you noticed how quiet it's been in chUMp-town this month? We don't seem to be hearing so many claims of supremacy and greatness from the Wolverines recently. Maybe the football team losing six out of seven games while the basketball team dropped from preseason #7 to unranked has something to do with it.

[Please forgive our tardiness with this monthly feature, but we simply got caught up in the Rose Bowl, and then carrying on a bit afterwards. Sorry about that. Not really!]

Still, it's time to announce the "chUMp-of-the-month" for December 2013. Before identifying the winner, let's give discredit where discredit is due, and mention the runner-up.

How about BRADY HOKE, the guy who claims a broken foot is actually a case of "turf-toe". Forget the donuts and the headsets and the assistant coaches and all of that stuff, what about outright LYING TO THE PUBLIC? Devin Gardner was on crutches, in a walking-boot, and not practicing for weeks, but Hoke kept telling everybody it was all due to a case of "turf-toe". Then, practically at the last second before the bowl game, word comes out that Gardner broke his foot against Ohio State. In other words, not turf-toe. So it's fair now to say that Brady Hoke is a big fat liar.

But Hoke still finishes second to the man-boy who has earned the dishonor in true Michigan style - - - by mouthing off endlessly, regardless of circumstances, about how great they all are who wear the yellow and blue. The December 2013 "chUMp-of-the-month" is..........


Mister Big Pretty Boy ended the month by losing to Ohio STATE at home and then carrying on about how nothing matters pretty much at all except for "being Michigan". Okay, ugh, what a doofus. Like we haven't heard all that claptrap before.

But it turns out that Mister Bloody Forehead decided to meet up with a few Buckeyes after the game, as in, way-y-y-y-y-y after the game. Like after midnight, the first day of December. Not actual players, mind you, just some fans of Brutus. And he might just have beaten one or two of them up. Maybe a little stomping. He might have had some police protection. Then he went ahead and played in the bowl game. That Hoke is such a strict disciplinarian!

Either way, the Ann Arbor Police Department is conducting a formal investigation into whether or not Taylor Lewan did, in fact, commit assault on December 1, 2013. And that's enough to earn "chUMp-of-the-month".

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  1. Just to give our December 2013 chUMp of the month some kudos, I offer the following. This Michigan Man was 4 star recruit from Arizona. After a redshirt freshman year, Lewan played in 49 games and started in 47 of them.

    His first start was the first Big Ten game of the season his redshirt freshman year. His second start was the first of three losses to Michigan State. His first loss in the Big House.

    The chUMps Big Ten record over his four year career was 18-14. Including the non conference and bowl games since his first start, their record was 29-18. In contrast, the teams from East Lansing went 25-7 in Big Ten play and were 42-12 overall.

    His father played at Minnesota but a large part of his decision to attend Michigan was that a high school teammate went there. I'm sure he wouldn't trade it for the world. A perfect fit in Ann Arbor.

  2. I did notice how beautifully quiet it is in Ann Arbor. I was reading all of the pregame articles of both the Rose Bowl and Orange Bowl as well as many other college football blogs and noticed that the chUMp fans were nowhere to be found. Even the Buckeye fans wished us the best in our bowl game and were pulling for us. And the Spartan comments were reciprocal. But no posts from any chUMps. Did anyone ask the cHOKEster who he was rooting for in those two bowl games?

    Also missing was an article, a blurb, a mention or a comment about the fact that there were no couch burnings after the game. Never reward good behavior with a nice article when it doesn't fit your agenda.


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