DUMP the chUMps (Spartan Resource)

This is the place where the fantasy legends of "Myth-Again" are systematically debunked. This is where "chUMps" are dUMped! We provide a unique perspective on Spartan sports, and we also bring you anti-chUMps humor and highlight actual facts about UM that expose "The Michigan Difference" as "The MythAgain Difference". PLEASE NOTE: The "Spartan Resource Center" is on the left-side column. You can quickly access a wide range of articles from a variety of sources using these links.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

UM BASKETBALL: 10-8 IN B1G, 19-11 OVERALL

We are boldly predicting the regular season record of the Michigan Men's Basketball team. Our forecast is based on choppy information, as the UM pre-conference schedule was littered with teams ranked below #200 in Division One. All of those teams were drilled by the Wolverines in home games, but John Beilein sports only a single victory against an opponent ranked in the Top 150. Hard to get a line on his team at this point, but here we go:

Michigan will finish the regular season 19-11,

with a 10-8 conference record.

They will be "on the bubble" to make the

NCAA Tournament for the entire final month of the season.

Where they go from there is

beyond the scope of our "Crystal Ball".

To make this guess, we first assigned "rankings" to the nine teams that UM has defeated, along with the three teams that have defeated them. We used three comprehensive data-based systems that rank all 351 teams in Division One, listed below, with their team ranking of Michigan in parentheses:

ESPN RPI (UM #68)
ESPN BPI (UM #50)
SAGARIN (UM #35)

The teams on the UM schedule are listed below by their composite ranking, with the RPI-BPI-Sagarin ranks in parentheses.

THREE MICHIGAN LOSSES

#2 XAVIER (#1 - #1 - #4)

Lost, 86-70

#8 SOUTHERN METHODIST UNIVERSITY (#7 - #8 - #8)

Lost, 82-58

#66 CONNECTICUT (#121 - #41 - #37)

Lost, 74-60

NINE MICHIGAN VICTORIES

#33 TEXAS (#22 - #45 - #33)

Won, 78-72

#78 NORTH CAROLINA STATE (#97 - #75 - #63)

Won, 66-59

#157 ELON (#151 - #160 - #159)

Won, 88-68

#244 CHARLOTTE (#209 - #256 - #267)

Won, 102-47

#246 YOUNGSTOWN STATE (#251 - #231 - #255)

Won, 105-46

#261 NORTHERN KENTUCKY (#278 - #241 - #265)

Won, 77-62

#281 HOUSTON BAPTIST UNIVERSITY (#265 - #288 - #290)

Won, 82-57

#340 DELAWARE STATE (#323 - #350 - #346)

Won 80-33

#331 BRYANT (#325 - #338 - #331)

Won, 96-60

The composite team ranking for UM from the three sources (listed above) suggest the Wolverines are the #51 team in the country. Their record against the Top 100 is 2-3, supporting the #51 ranking.

Their record against teams ranked #33 or higher is 1-2.
Their record against teams ranked #34 to #78 is 1-1.
THEREFORE, WE EXPECT MICHIGAN TO BEAT TEAMS RANKED BELOW #78 AND TO LOSE TO TEAMS RANKED HIGHER THAN #33.

There are five B1G teams ranked below #78 and three ranked above #33. Six teams (including UM) are in the "middle group":

Iowa
Indiana
Michigan
Northwestern
Ohio State
Wisconsin

To complete our prediction, count up the games in the conference schedule against each of these three groups of teams:

Games against the Top Three = 5
Games against the Middle Six = 6
Games against the Bottom Five = 7

We assume UM will go 0-5 against the top group, 7-0 against the bottom group, and 3-3 against the teams in the middle. That adds up to 10-8.

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MICHIGAN MEN'S BASKETBALL PREDICTIONS

The great John Beilein is wading through oblivion again this season. After coming to Michigan as a "nobody" in 2007, then rising to "superstar" status while using non-college players for three seasons, he is struggling to get out of the shadow of the expectations of his delirious fan-base. Many UM fans expect Beilein's program to win the league and compete for a Final Four every year, despite the losing record last year, his third losing season over eight years in Ann Arbor.

Beilein has fluffed-up his schedule (again) this season, playing Northern Michigan - - - a Division Two team - - - and counting the inevitable win as a regular season victory. He also brought in a series of lightweight patsies to pad the schedule before the onslaught of B1G conference play. That makes it hard to know how good, or how bad, his team will be in 2016.

So we broke down the Wolverine non-conference schedule to get a best guess of how they will do in the league race.

Our prediction is that Michigan will finish 10-8 in the B1G, leaving them squarely "on the bubble" with a 19-11 record

heading into the conference tournament in March.

From there, a quick loss would leave them with an N.I.T. bid, while two wins would probably get them into the Big Dance. Splitting a pair in Chicago would leave Wolverine Nation in a two-day panic session as they floated on the very edge of "the bubble" while watching scoreboards from dozens of games across the country.

To make this prediction, we first assigned rankings to the nine teams that UM has defeated, along with the three teams that have defeated them. We used three comprehensive data-based systems that rank all 351 teams in Division One, ESPN's "RPI" and "BPI", along with the Sagarin ratings. We will give the details of our process in the next article to be posted later today.

In case you think a winning record and a post-season tournament bid is satisfying to Michigan Basketball fans, think again! The loyal UM fan-base was pounding on Beilein and complaining about his players only two weeks ago. The links below have samples of the blue-bitching:

Michigan Fans Pound Their Coach (part one)

Michigan Fans Pound Their Coach (part two)

Michigan Fans Pound Their Coach (part three)

Michigan Fans Pound Their Coach (part four)

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Friday, December 25, 2015

HOKE VS HARBAUGH: FIRST YEAR COMPARISON

The 2015 college football regular season is over, and Jim Harbaugh continues to trail Brady Hoke in their comparative first-year performance. Hoke finished 10-2 in his first year, while Harbaugh struggled to reach 9-3 (with lucky wins over Minnesota and Indiana). Since Hoke also won his bowl game, he has clinched victory over Harbaugh in Year One.

Let's take a closer look at the first-year of each Michigan Head Coach, to verify that the Great Harby stands in the Big Boy's shadow after one season on the job. Here are the season results for both coaches:

BRADY HOKE: 10-2

Beat Western Michigan by 24
Beat Notre Dame by 4
Beat Eastern Michigan by 28
Beat San Diego State by 21
Beat Minnesota by 58
Beat Northwestern by 14
Lost to Michigan State by 14
Beat Purdue by 22
Lost to Iowa by 8
Beat Illinois by 17
Beat Nebraska by 28
Beat Ohio State by 6
Beat Virginia Tech by 3

2-1 against ranked teams (#23 MSU, #16 Nebraska, #11 Virginia Tech)

JIM HARBAUGH: 9-3

Lost to Utah by 7
Beat Oregon State by 28
Beat UNLV by 21
Beat BYU by 31
Beat Maryland by 28
Beat Northwestern by 38
Lost to Michigan State by 4
Beat Minnesota by 3
Beat Rutgers by 33
Beat Indiana by 7
Beat Penn State by 12
Lost to Ohio State by 29

2-2 vs ranked teams (#22 BYU, #13 NW, #7 MSU, #8 OSU)

The "macro" view (above) shows that Hoke had a better record than Harbaugh, giving him the mythical Year One Title with a bowl victory in hand. A UM victory over Florida would still leave Harbaugh looking up to Hoke.

Some people might say there are differences that don't show up in the "macro" view, so we turn up the microscope now to analyze various aspects of the season performance. For this "micro" view, we will examine the season schedule in four different parts:

Non-Conference games
Games against Common Opponents
Rivalry Games
Games against Uncommon Opponents

As you will see (below), Hoke has the edge in three of the four categories listed (above). Here is a detailed listing of those groups of games:

Non-Conference Schedule

Hoke beat Western Michigan by 24
Hoke beat Notre Dame by 4
Hoke beat Eastern Michigan by 28
Hoke beat San Diego State by 21
Harbaugh lost to Utah by 7
Harbaugh beat Oregon State by 28
Harbaugh beat UNLV by 21
Harbaugh beat BYU by 31

Hoke = 4-0, +77 points
Harbaugh = 3-1, +73 points

Conference Schedule - Common Opponents

Hoke beat Minnesota by 58
Harbaugh beat Minnesota by 3
Hoke beat Northwestern by 14
Harbaugh beat Northwestern by 38

Hoke = 2-0, +72 points
Harbaugh = 2-0, +41 points

Conference Schedule - Common Rivalry Games

Hoke lost to Michigan State by 14
Harbaugh lost to Michigan State by 4
Hoke beat Ohio State by 6
Harbaugh lost to Ohio State by 29

Hoke = 1-1, -8 points
Harbaugh = 0-2, -33 points

Conference Schedule - Uncommon Opponents

Hoke beat Purdue by 22
Hoke lost to Iowa by 8
Hoke beat Illinois by 17
Hoke beat Nebraska by 28
Harbaugh beat Maryland by 28
Harbaugh beat Rutgers by 33
Harbaugh beat Indiana by 7
Harbaugh beat Penn State by 12

Hoke = 3-1, +59 points
Harbaugh = 4-0, +70 points

As you can see, Hoke wins two categories by game-record, and a third by the point-differential tie-breaker. The only advantage to Harbaugh is in the category of "Uncommon Opponents". (Hoke lost to Iowa by eight points, while Harbaugh beat Indiana by seven points in overtime.)

We wish the sports media would examine the actual performance records of the same program with the two different coaches before anointing the new guy as The Savior. A key aspect we haven't included is that the recruiting classes immediately preceding the Hoke hire were NOT AS GOOD AS the recruiting classes immediately preceding the Harbaugh hire. In other words, there is reason to believe that Harbaugh may have had more talent to work with than Hoke did at the beginning.

We already told you before the season started that UM fans would laud the new guy and celebrate his excellence NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED DURING THIS SEASON. And that's been exactly the case. The sports media collectively predicted Michigan to go 7-5 this season, and the Wolverines would have finished 7-5 if not for the brain-hemmorage suffered by the Minnesota Interim Head Coach at the end of the game, along with the generous officiating that allowed UM to sneak by Indiana in two overtimes. Those details are set aside in the public consciousness to allow the disciples of Jimmy to herald him for his wondrous brilliance.

NOTE: This article contains no predictions, and is not intended to make claims about future seasons of Michigan Football. However, it seems clear that Brady Hoke actually had a BETTER FIRST SEASON than Jim Harbaugh, based on the actual facts of the two seasons.

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Thursday, December 24, 2015

'TWAS JUST ONE MORE PLAY IN THE GAME...

As each year comes to a close, we reflect back on the joys of the past twelve months. On this web site, there is no greater joy than to defeat Michigan, especially when they are favored to win the game, and especially when their fan-base is running their mouths leading up to the contest, carrying on about how great the original UM Rugby teams were before the invention of NCAA College Football.

So it's no surprise that we should wish to commemorate the legendary finish to the football game played on October 17 in Ann Arbor. Hard to remember, but the Wolverines were heavy favorites to win that game, at least according to Vegas.

The following poetry was adapted by us from a piece that has become very popular this week on Facebook, and while we don't know the original author, we thank them for it, and we apologize to them for making a few changes here and there to suit our tastes.

'Twas just one more play,

In the Rivalry game...

And it looked like the Spartans

Were pulling up lame.

Our team down by two,

Just ten seconds remaining...

While thoughts of Paul Bunyan

Were hopelessly waning.

Spartan Nation was bumming,

It seemed to be done...

With just one more punt,

The Blues would have won.

Coach D on the sideline,

Gathered players to hear...

He spoke to the Rangers,

Their mission was clear.

Every man knew his job,

As each Ranger stood tall.

Come hell or high water,

They must get that ball!

The teams took their places,

No Spartans were back.

They lined up together,

All primed to attack.

Wolverine fans may wonder,

As they toss in their sleep...

Why there were two "gunners",

When no one was deep?

The snap came in low,

So the punter reached down...

The ball hit his hands,

And it then hit the ground!

More rapid than eagles,

Those Rangers they came...

And Coach D he shouted,

And called them by name:

"Now, Macksood! Now, Harrell!"

"Now Leimbach and Grayson!"

"On, Dowell! On, Willis!"

"On Monty and Jalen!"

Then what to our wondering

Eyes did we see,

But a forceful collision,

As the ball popped out free!

That pigskin took flight

In the chaotic action,

Landing right in the hands

Of Jalen Watts-Jackson!

Then off to the end zone

Those Rangers they sped,

To flip the big scoreboard

In this game they'd not led.

With blockers aplenty,

And green grass in sight,

A hero named Jackson

Was surrounded by white.

As the ball crossed the goal line,

Surprise filled the air,

With hands to their heads,

The home crowd pulled their hair.

The Rangers had done it,

They'd finished the trip!

The only small problem

Was Jackson's bad hip.

The clock read all zeroes,

The Spartans had won!

But their dream of a title

Was not yet quite done.

And into the air

Of that Ann Arbor night,

Rose loud Spartan cheers

Of "Go Green!" And "Go White!"

Now somewhere it's snowing,

And somewhere it's sunny.

But nowhere on earth is it

Quite so darn funny...

To listen to chUMps

As they bitch and complain,

As they shout that the Winner

Did not win that game!

They looked at the scoreboard

They longed for the past,

They dreamed of their team

With a much different cast.

They wanted so badly

To go back in Time,

To rewrite the story,

To change this whole rhyme.

But nothing they do

Can erase the true story,

The Spartans had won,

And reclaimed the Glory!

A DECADE OF ANNUAL MICHIGAN SLOGANS

Those chUMps sure know how to keep their own lips flapping, don't they? It's the only fan-base in American sports that always talks smack when they win AND when they lose. Their raison d' etre is to wallow in their own trash-talk.

So it seems like we hear something different from them each year, but it also seems to be about the same each year. Nothing will deter them from the belief that rugby scrimmages in the late 1800s were actually equivalent to the "Football" games played this year.

One the best things that Michigan State Football Coach Mark Dantonio said was, "I find a lot of things they do to be amusing." That pretty much sums it up, right? So we present the annual slogans for Michigan Football for the past ten years, presented here in print as we heard them repeated endlessly over the last decade:

2007: "It's like when you play your Little brother in the driveway..."

2008: "We have the best Coach available. He will teach the Big Ten how to play football."

2009: "Lloyd left the cupboard bare. Just wait till Coach Rodriguez gets his own players."

2010: "These three years don't count because our coach stinks."

2011: "Rich Rod left the cupboard bare."

2012: "We won on a last second field goal! That means it's over for Sparty."

2013: "The window has closed on the Spartans now that they are in the same division as OHIO and Michigan."

2014: "The past three years don't count. We had Fred Flintstone as coach."

2015: "It's over for Sparty! We have the Supreme King as our coach now."

2016: "We just got another Top Five recruiting class! MSU might have won seven of the last eight games against us, they might have won 11 games in five of the last six seasons, including a Rose Bowl and a Cotton Bowl, they might have won three of the five Big ten Championship games, and qualified for the college football "Final Four"......but now it's definitely over for Sparty!"

The annual slogan for MSU Football under Dantonio:

"Where's the threat?"