MICHIGAN WOMEN'S BASKETBALL COACH CAMPAIGNS FOR "THE RIGHT TO BARE ARMS"

Seems like every coach at the University of Michigan has to have their "signature look". Brady Hoke showed up on game days looking like an overgrown blueberry with a yellow "M" on his belly. Now Jim Harbaugh has his cutting-edge fashion statement of wearing khaki-pants every minute of every day.

Blueberry Fields Forever

What do you expect me to look like?

But there is another UM coach who likes to wear her emotions on her sleeves, or rather, on her bare skin. On game days. INDOORS.

It's Women's Basketball Coach Kim Barnes-Arico, "Queen of the Naked Shoulders". While most female basketball coaches present a range of fashionable haberdashery while prowling the sidelines, this Wolverine Woman sticks almost exclusively to the "look at my arms" appearance.

No big deal, I suppose, but also unprecedented in women's sports. What's next, "short-shorts"? Or maybe a tube-top? Perhaps a mini-skirt with patent-leather shoes?

For amusement purposes only, take a look at the various pictures below to see what we're talking about.

She believes in a woman's right to BARE ARMS

"Check out my GUNS!"

Hey, sleeve me alone.

I am shouldering such a burden here.

Cheer with me for my BICEPS!

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Tweet ****** The purpose of this web site is to expose the mainstream media bias that consistently portrays Michigan in a favorable light under any and all circumstances. We present current facts and review historical records to show that UM is not all they are cracked up to be. This process involves information that is negative by nature, offered as a counter-balance to the biased picture we all see on a regular basis in the mainstream media. These negative facts may involve Wolverine teams, players, coaches, administrators, and/or fans. We are here to prove that Michigan is NOT AS DIFFERENT as they want us all to believe.

PLAY-IN GAME HAS FAMILIAR "N.I.T. FEEL" FOR MICHIGAN BASKETBALL COACH JOHN BEILEIN

John Beilein is feeling better about his team's post-season destiny. While he had his heart set on the National Invitational Tournament (NIT), he plans to "soldier up" and do his best with a paltry bid to the NCAAs. What made the difference?

Beilein says the Play-In Game assignment has an "NIT feel" to it, being on a Wednesday night against Tulsa, a team that has basically made its name as an NIT participant. He expects a small crowd to be at the game, similar to most other teams that play in his favorite tournament. And he knows that practically nobody will be watching on television, the same as all of the other NIT teams.

So he's got his mojo back in order as he tries to replicate that one shining moment in 2007 when he brought home the bacon in New York City as the undisputed champion of the NIT. He's pointing out to his players there is still a pathway to The Big Apple, since Notre Dame awaits the winner on Friday night.

As for those other teams that seemed to have equal or better credentials that did not get a ticket to The Big Dance? Beilein says they're lucky to be in the NIT, a tournament they could actually win.

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Tweet ****** The purpose of this web site is to expose the mainstream media bias that consistently portrays Michigan in a favorable light under any and all circumstances. We present current facts and review historical records to show that UM is not all they are cracked up to be. This process involves information that is negative by nature, offered as a counter-balance to the biased picture we all see on a regular basis in the mainstream media. These negative facts may involve Wolverine teams, players, coaches, administrators, and/or fans. We are here to prove that Michigan is NOT AS DIFFERENT as they want us all to believe.

MICHIGAN NARROWLY MISSES OUT ON N.I.T.

John Beilein has struggled for years to get his Michigan Basketball team to the National Invitational Tournament (NIT) and this season looked like his best chance to get there. Unfortunately for his Wolverines, they missed out on the NIT yet again.

Beilein came to UM with a rich tradition of success in the NIT, winning the whole enchilada in his final season at West Virginia. It was that championship that opened the door to Ann Arbor for the old apple farmer, and he was determined to get back to the promised land for his new employer.

But alas, Beilein missed both tournaments twice in his first five seasons at Michigan, and only made the NCAA Tournament in the other three, compiling a 2-3 record. He also came up empty last season. (That unusual two-year-run took place between a first-round exit and the most recent empty post-season.)

So it looked like this was the make-it-or-break-it season for Beilein. The lack of senior leadership combined with unexplained injuries and an unprecedented "retirement" by a walk-on player seemed to be paving the way back into the NIT. Beilein covered his tracks well with the hot start to the league schedule, but made sure to lose most of his games on the back-end, setting his team up to dodge the Big Dance.

Tragically, the Wolverines slipped by Northwestern (in overtime) and Indiana (on a last-second shot) to force the NCAA Selection Committee to put them into its tournament.

Thus ends any chance of a repeat NIT Championship for Beilein, at least for this season. But for the old apple farmer, hope springs eternal, and after all, THERE IS ALWAYS NEXT YEAR!

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Tweet ****** The purpose of this web site is to expose the mainstream media bias that consistently portrays Michigan in a favorable light under any and all circumstances. We present current facts and review historical records to show that UM is not all they are cracked up to be. This process involves information that is negative by nature, offered as a counter-balance to the biased picture we all see on a regular basis in the mainstream media. These negative facts may involve Wolverine teams, players, coaches, administrators, and/or fans. We are here to prove that Michigan is NOT AS DIFFERENT as they want us all to believe.

MICHIGAN STATE BASKETBALL "SENIOR DAY" TO BE PRE-EMPTED BY JIM HARBAUGH SHOW

The Michigan State Basketball team will play its "Senior Day" game against Ohio State on Saturday, featuring Denzel Valentine, Bryn Forbes, Matt Costello, and Colby Wollenman. But plans to televise the game have been changed.

The television coverage has been switched to Jim Harbaugh, "America's Favorite Sociopath", after his announcement about his daily schedule for the weekend. Turns out Harbaugh will be paying a visit to Tim Horton's, reportedly for coffee and a donut, and the self-styled media event was too much for the network to resist. Hence, the change in plans.

We previewed the "Jim Harbaugh Show" last year before its debut, and it has been setting all kinds of viewership records. This weekend special will include not only the coffee and donut experience; it will continue with daily coverage as Harbaugh makes a trip to Meijer for some groceries.

The three-part mini-series will continue when the "Khardashian of Coaches" heads home to do his wife's bidding for the rest of the day. Harbaugh has been outspoken about his commitment to follow his wife's orders about anything and everything while in the house. So his wife, whatever her name is, will be the focal point of the third episode.

A last-second effort to reverse the coverage switch was foiled when Harbaugh declined to serve as color commentator during the game. Network officials considered moving forward with the game coverage if Harbaugh agreed to work as a court-side reporter and put on a show at half-time. But Mr. Harbaugh said that Mrs. Harbaugh wanted her own episode, and since he was home when talking to the network about the idea, he deferred to the little lady.

Some viewers may be disappointed to miss out on the Spartan Seniors in their last Breslin Center appearance, but network executives are adamant that they must "follow the eyeballs" with their programming decisions. They say focus-group surveys have shown that more people are interested in watching the Michigan Football Coach make faces into the camera and give a stream-of-consciousness speech about himself than nearly any other subject.

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ELSEWHERE:  In related news, the online porn industry will be switching to Harbaugh videos to replace the previously popular sex action clips that have dominated the Internet for the past two decades. Porn moguls claim that clips of Harbaugh, saying and doing absolutely anything, will replace all forms of American entertainment within the next five years, and they seek to be on the front edge of the movement.

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Tweet ****** The purpose of this web site is to expose the mainstream media bias that consistently portrays Michigan in a favorable light under any and all circumstances. We present current facts and review historical records to show that UM is not all they are cracked up to be. This process involves information that is negative by nature, offered as a counter-balance to the biased picture we all see on a regular basis in the mainstream media. These negative facts may involve Wolverine teams, players, coaches, administrators, and/or fans. We are here to prove that Michigan is NOT AS DIFFERENT as they want us all to believe.

MICHIGAN FANS CLAIM BASKETBALL LOSS TO HOOSIERS A "FLUKE", SAY UM ACTUALLY "WON"

Most of us thought that Indiana pounded Michigan in basketball on Tuesday night, but the Michigan fan-base has a new way of looking at it. Everybody could see the 28-point run by the Hoosiers wrapped-up that game early, but the UM Stats Team has crunched the numbers, examined the data, and come to a startling conclusion. They claim the Wolverines actually "won" that game, since the chances of a 28-0 run in college basketball are astronomical.

In other words, the 28-0 run by Indiana was A "FLUKE", and without it, Michigan actually won the game by a score of 67-52.

Well, now, that makes more sense, doesn't it? The chances of what Indiana did are so unlikely that the outcome doesn't actually count. That's "Wolverine Logic", as applied by so many chUMps so many times to the football game played on October 17 in Ann Arbor.

According to the laws of Science, results only count when they are repeatable. So, scientifically speaking, the 27-23 win by Michigan State over Michigan is not a true outcome. That's why UM actually "won" that game.

Same story with the Indiana basketball blowout. The Michigan Stats Team has determined that the odds of a team outscoring another team during B1G conference play, by 28 points to zero points, beginning at exactly the 9:08 mark of the first half and extending to exactly the 18:37 mark of the second half are approximately 9,749,258-to-1. In other words, it's impossible that would ever happen again, therefore, it didn't ever happen in the first place. Got that?

Based on this scholarly analysis, the UM Basketball Team is actually a #1-seed right now, for both the B1G conference tournament and the NCAA tournament. After all, any team that could knock-off Indiana by 15 points is a force to be reckoned with!

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Tweet ****** The purpose of this web site is to expose the mainstream media bias that consistently portrays Michigan in a favorable light under any and all circumstances. We present current facts and review historical records to show that UM is not all they are cracked up to be. This process involves information that is negative by nature, offered as a counter-balance to the biased picture we all see on a regular basis in the mainstream media. These negative facts may involve Wolverine teams, players, coaches, administrators, and/or fans. We are here to prove that Michigan is NOT AS DIFFERENT as they want us all to believe.

JIM HARBAUGH TO HOLD PRE-GAME SEANCE ON SATURDAY BEFORE OHIO STATE GAME

You gotta' give Jim Harbaugh credit, he's always looking for an "edge" to help him win. Whether it's a big football game, or shirts-and-skins with high school boys, or that last pancake, or a card game of "war", whatever it takes to win, Jim Dandy will give it his best shot.

So when The Boy King was looking over the match-ups in the big game against Ohio STATE, he could see his team coming up a bit short. He knew he needed an "extra something" to put his team in position to pull the big upset. That's when he realized what he needed to do.

The Harbmeister enjoyed the graveside ceremonies so much this week, literally busting a nut in memory of Coach Glenn, he decided to take things to a new level. Wolverine sports culture is so firmly focused on past glories that Jim Dandy is going to channel that energy in a new way.

Harbaugh will raise the "ghosts of the past"

- - - literally - - - to compete on Saturday.

He knows his own players will probably come up short.

So he will ask Bo to send the spirits of players who have

passed on to take over his current players during the big game.

Harbs and Hack will conduct a seance in the lockerroom about an hour before kickoff, metaphysically implanting the ghosts of their glorious football past into the bodies of his players, enabling them to finally beat the Buckeyes. The UM victory will be like a MIRACULOUS GIFT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.

In this way, the Michigan players will all be playing "like a man possessed", because they will, in fact, be possessed. It's a stroke of genius from the Football Messiah!

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