A Viewer's Guide to games In Spartan Stadium and down the road in the Outhouse

So you made it through Thanksgiving and are not ready to settle in for some football. But your "boss" has set the rules to JUST ONE GAME.

Which to pick? (Assuming it is anything close to a hard choice, that is...)

Some help deciding.

tO$U versus UolM in the Outhouse

NCAA National Rankings and season averages:
No. 5 Rushing offense (tO$U) 314.7 yd/gm versus No. 14 rushing defense (UolM) 116.4 yd/gm
No. 6 Rushing defense (tO$U) 95.3 yd/gm versus No. 100 rushing offense (UolM) 128.8 yd/gm
No. 74 passing offense (tO$U) 216.2 yd/gm versus No. 80 pass defense (UolM) 236.6 yd/gm
No. 81 passing defense (tO$U) 238.1 yd/gm versus No. 62 pass offense (UolM) 234.0 yd/gm
No. 3 scoring offense (tO$U) 48.7 pt/gm versus No. 52 scoring defense (UolM) 25.1 pt/gm
No. 8 scoring defense (tO$U) 18.4 pt/gm versus No. 47 scoring offense (UolM) 33.1 pt/gm

A couple of things jump out.

• Little Missygan is going to have another pathetic rushing game.
• The Hairless Nuts will show the world just how overrated the UolM rushing defense really is. All season long we have listened to the chUMps claim the Spartan Dawgs are nothing but padded stats against cupcakes. Time for the Karma Kickoff.
• Gardner will be forced to throw and tO$U will field several fly balls.
• Miller will run at will (poor Will!).
• Halfway through the 2nd period, the Scarlett will outnumber the Urine in the stadium 2 to 1 or better, not counting the bands or the teams.

The only quality opponent tO$U has faced this season was Wisconsin**. This one will not be nearly that good.

** If someone claims UolM is a quality opponent, then tO$U and MSU both add Iowa and UolM to their list of quality opponents and tO$U adds San Diego State and MSU adds Youngstown State -- they are all roughly equal.

Prediction:
tO$U 35 at UolM 3

Up the road in East Lansing another game is being played. The Golden Gophers of Minnesota have come for a visit.

Minnesota at Michigan State in Spartan Stadium

NCAA National Rankings and season averages:
No. 46 rush offense (MSU) 186.6 yd/gm versus No. 48 rush defense (MIN) 151.5 yd/gm
No. 1 rush defense (MSU) 59.4 yd/gm versus No. 27 rush offense (MIN) 207.9 yd/gm
No. 90 pass offense (MSU) 198.6 yd/gm versus No. 54 pass defense (MIN) 224.1 yd/gm
No. 8 pass defense (MSU) 177.3 yd/gm versus No. 115 pass offense (MIN) 143.4 yd/gm
No. 56 scoring offense (MSU) 30.8 pt/gm versus No. 37 scoring defense (MIN) 23.1 pt/gm
No. 4 scoring defense (MSU) 12.5 pt/gm versus No. 69 scoring offense (MIN) 28.6 pt/gm

This looks to be a much more intriguing game.

• Can Minnesota run the ball like Nebraska did or have will the Dawgs show us they are ready for tO$U?
• How big a day will Langford have?
• Can Cook and the receivers move the ball? If so, things look very promising for next week.
• The Golden Gophers do not have much of a passing game, so the Spartan Defense can box and wrap up their rushing game. This could be a slaughter, but Minnesota should not be counted out.

Minnesota is the 3rd quality opponent the Spartans will have taken on this season, Notre Dame and Nebraska being the other 2. Back in week 4, the Spartan Offense was still trying to find its game legs and the team managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (will some official assistance) 14-17. Nebraska gave a good showing of how far the team has progressed and Minnesota should be just as good a contest. The Spartans are 7-0 in conference play winning all by 12 points or more.

Prediction:
MIN 12 at MSU 25

The choice is this. Do you want to watch a football game or the slaughtering of a bunch of pathetic skunkbears?

Please note that there is an effort to place the Gulo Gulo on the endangered species list. That could happen by Monday, if there are any survivors.


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Little Missygan Honestly

Posted on MLive.com: Michigan's Brady Hoke: 'Honestly, we're a pretty good football team'

"The way our kids stuck together, it was like a high school football game. They were (on the sidelines) chanting ‘defense’ when the defense was on the field."

High school is such an apt description for at least 4 games played this season, probably more could be added to the list if one actually looked at the games. The game that steps forward to the top of the list is the 3OT win over Northwestern, which "proves" the University of Little Missygan (UolM) is a top tier program and the M-4 is ready to propel them back into the top 25 with win at Iowa.

A 3OT win over a hapless 4-6/0-6 Mildcats team is proof of what again? A 27-19 decision means what exactly for a team that averages over 34 points/game?
Beating a middle-of-the-pack 6-3/3-3 Hawkeyes team in Iowa City is probably the apex of the season for 7-3/3-3 UolM, should they manage to get lucky enough to escape with a win. On the other hand, Northwestern took Iowa to OT before losing 17-10.

All this means is, after all the years we Spartans have had to put up with elitist crap posted by dUMb chUMps, Skunkbears, and M-4 (the Michigan Mainstream Media Machine), we are now witnessing this self-proclaimed superior program settling for mediocrity.

As well it should.

Thank you Coach Hoax for your honesty.


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Ranking The chUMps?

From:
MLive AP voter: Alabama gets a pass, Michigan State up one, Michigan narrowly misses spot
Quote:

"The Michigan Wolverines could be back to Top 25 football again, gaining some momentum with that overtime win at Northwestern.

"Yes, Big Blue beat Notre Dame head to head, but there's a transitive properties deal involving Michigan State, and it's hard to ignore the Irish's wins over the Spartans, Arizona State and USC.

"If Michigan wins again next week, there's a good chance they'll be in my Top 25."

UoLM? 7-3, 3-3 UoLM?

The team that barely eked wins against Akron and UConn and got totally dominated by the Spartans and then, after watching reruns, the Cornhuskers showed the MSU game was not a fluke and UoLM really is that bad.

This is the same team that lost to Penn St.? 4OT loss, yes, but Penn St.?
Ok, Penn St. is not all that bad, but UoLM barely eked out a win, 3OT, versus the Mildcats of Northwestern. NU is 4-6, 0-6 in conference play. It's sort of like getting excited about beating Purdue.

Now M-4 claims a win at Iowa will propel the chUMps back into the national relevance? A win over the 6-4, 3-3 Hawkeyes is that significant?

Just another example of M-4 at work.





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