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Saturday, November 30, 2013

A Viewer's Guide to games In Spartan Stadium and down the road in the Outhouse

So you made it through Thanksgiving and are not ready to settle in for some football. But your "boss" has set the rules to JUST ONE GAME.

Which to pick? (Assuming it is anything close to a hard choice, that is...)

Some help deciding.

tO$U versus UolM in the Outhouse

NCAA National Rankings and season averages:
No. 5 Rushing offense (tO$U) 314.7 yd/gm versus No. 14 rushing defense (UolM) 116.4 yd/gm
No. 6 Rushing defense (tO$U) 95.3 yd/gm versus No. 100 rushing offense (UolM) 128.8 yd/gm

No. 74 passing offense (tO$U) 216.2 yd/gm versus No. 80 pass defense (UolM) 236.6 yd/gm
No. 81 passing defense (tO$U) 238.1 yd/gm versus No. 62 pass offense (UolM) 234.0 yd/gm

No. 3 scoring offense (tO$U) 48.7 pt/gm versus No. 52 scoring defense (UolM) 25.1 pt/gm
No. 8 scoring defense (tO$U) 18.4 pt/gm versus No. 47 scoring offense (UolM) 33.1 pt/gm

A couple of things jump out.
  • Little Missygan is going to have another pathetic rushing game.
  • The Hairless Nuts will show the world just how overrated the UolM rushing defense really is. All season long we have listened to the chUMps claim the Spartan Dawgs are nothing but padded stats against cupcakes. Time for the Karma Kickoff.
  • Gardner will be forced to throw and tO$U will field several fly balls.
  • Miller will run at will (poor Will!).
  • Halfway through the 2nd period, the Scarlett will outnumber the Urine in the stadium 2 to 1 or better, not counting the bands or the teams.
The only quality opponent tO$U has faced this season was Wisconsin**. This one will not be nearly that good.

** If someone claims UolM is a quality opponent, then tO$U and MSU both add Iowa and UolM to their list of quality opponents and tO$U adds San Diego State and MSU adds Youngstown State -- they are all roughly equal.

tO$U 35 at UolM 3

Up the road in East Lansing another game is being played. The Golden Gophers of Minnesota have come for a visit.

Minnesota at Michigan State in Spartan Stadium

NCAA National Rankings and season averages:
No. 46 rush offense (MSU) 186.6 yd/gm versus No. 48 rush defense (MIN) 151.5 yd/gm
No. 1 rush defense (MSU) 59.4 yd/gm versus No. 27 rush offense (MIN) 207.9 yd/gm
No. 90 pass offense (MSU) 198.6 yd/gm versus No. 54 pass defense (MIN) 224.1 yd/gm
No. 8 pass defense (MSU) 177.3 yd/gm versus No. 115 pass offense (MIN) 143.4 yd/gm
No. 56 scoring offense (MSU) 30.8 pt/gm versus No. 37 scoring defense (MIN) 23.1 pt/gm
No. 4 scoring defense (MSU) 12.5 pt/gm versus No. 69 scoring offense (MIN) 28.6 pt/gm

This looks to be a much more intriguing game.
  • Can Minnesota run the ball like Nebraska did or have will the Dawgs show us they are ready for tO$U?
  • How big a day will Langford have?
  • Can Cook and the receivers move the ball? If so, things look very promising for next week.
  • The Golden Gophers do not have much of a passing game, so the Spartan Defense can box and wrap up their rushing game. This could be a slaughter, but Minnesota should not be counted out.
Minnesota is the 3rd quality opponent the Spartans will have taken on this season, Notre Dame and Nebraska being the other 2. Back in week 4, the Spartan Offense was still trying to find its game legs and the team managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (will some official assistance) 14-17. Nebraska gave a good showing of how far the team has progressed and Minnesota should be just as good a contest. The Spartans are 7-0 in conference play winning all by 12 points or more.

MIN 12 at MSU 25

The choice is this. Do you want to watch a football game or the slaughtering of a bunch of pathetic skunkbears?

Please note that there is an effort to place the Gulo Gulo on the endangered species list. That could happen by Monday, if there are any survivors.

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