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Friday, November 27, 2015


You gotta' give Jim Harbaugh credit, he's always looking for an "edge" to help him win. Whether it's a big football game, or shirts-and-skins with high school boys, or that last pancake, or a card game of "war", whatever it takes to win, Jim Dandy will give it his best shot.

So when The Boy King was looking over the match-ups in the big game against Ohio STATE, he could see his team coming up a bit short. He knew he needed an "extra something" to put his team in position to pull the big upset. That's when he realized what he needed to do.

The Harbmeister enjoyed the graveside ceremonies so much this week, literally busting a nut in memory of Coach Glenn, he decided to take things to a new level. Wolverine sports culture is so firmly focused on past glories that Jim Dandy is going to channel that energy in a new way.

Harbaugh will raise the "ghosts of the past"
- - - literally - - - to compete on Saturday.

He knows his own players will probably come up short.

So he will ask Bo to send the spirits of players who have
passed on to take over his current players during the big game.

Harbs and Hack will conduct a seance in the lockerroom about an hour before kickoff, metaphysically implanting the ghosts of their glorious football past into the bodies of his players, enabling them to finally beat the Buckeyes. The UM victory will be like a MIRACULOUS GIFT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.

In this way, the Michigan players will all be playing "like a man possessed", because they will, in fact, be possessed. It's a stroke of genius from the Football Messiah!

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  1. There you go again - giving them all the ideas they need to succeed. Sometimes I wish you wouldn't share these failsafe strategies disguised as satire.

  2. This S-T-U-P-I-D tradition went public in 1997 and has gone on every year since. You would think that after losing 13 games to the Buckeyes since it's inception that they might consider failing to renew this lunacy. But khakis prevail and we will see nuts getting cracked next year in cemeteries instead of on the football field. Go figure.


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