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Sunday, January 19, 2014


The 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" race has come down to three finalists, Taylor LewanDesmond Howard, and David Brandon. Today we make the case for Brandon to be crowned King chUMp for 2013.

I can still remember that September Saturday as we were driving to the Michigan State football game, and what did we see up in the otherwise blue sky but a smoke message that said "Go Blue". For many people, this was the incident that introduced them to David Brandon. His obfuscated responses to many inquiries about this over-the-top stunt revealed Brandon to be a consummate dodge-artist, as well as a Machiavellan puppeteer.

It's unusual to think of an Athletic Director as "King chUMp", but consider their universe in obverse relation to our own. We have Mark Hollis, an AD that is busting the performance-bar for his profession, setting new marks for innovation on a regular basis, and steering the Michigan State programs to unprecedented success across the board. He has raised a great deal of money and established sound financial practices to work within his limited budgets. (e.g., When was the last time we kept paying a coach who we fired?)

So perhaps it's realistic to recognize that as good and effective and dignified Mark Hollis is, his counterpart on The Dark Side may be as corrupt as Hollis is clean. That's consistent with what Anonymous told us:
"I know in my heart I'm supposed to say Brandon. He's older, should know better, and yet still makes decisions - not to mention the comments made regarding those decisions - that baffle the mind. What is wrong with this man?"

MSUSpartan76 made a compelling case for David Brandon as King chUMp, making his pizza background into a silly nickname:
"Father Noid is my vote. Who is worse, the idiot or the idiot who hired the idiot? Da blane! Da blane! Not only did he hire the sky writers, he then went on to claim they were off course, that it happened all over the state (except over Michigan Stadium), then tried to minimize it by claiming it cost (out of athletic department funds) much less than what the sky writers said it cost. To continue his arrogance (a quality valued by chUMps), he did not bother to try to match the MSU Alumni fund raising for a significant charity. Had he done so, he could have regained a measure of respect.

"No respect. Arrogance. Ability to simultaneously talk out of both sides at the same time. Idiot. Makes for a chUMp."

Another huge vote comes from ReturnToGlory (R2G):
"David Brandon is the leader. He could cure the culture, but he has proven to be a true-blue chUMp. He sets the tone in the sports department. He is totally cool with his coaches and players referring to another Big Ten institution with the name of an institution in the MAC as an insult ("Ohio"). If fans want to do that, fine - he has no authority over them, but players and coaches in multiple sports? Pre-2013, he allowed this childish practice to continue even after his basketball team got beat by that very MAC team wearing green and white in the NCAA Tournament. His DECISION to arrange and pay for the the skywriting of GO BLUE in the sky above Spartan Stadium on game day was childish and his lies related to it, despicable. His actions raised the levels of chUMpitis through all of Blue Nation. He is the leader. David Brandon is king chUMp."

R2G makes the key observation that dozens of these silly "Ohio" references were made publicly, officially,  and consistently all through 2013. While Brandon himself may not be saying the word, he holds the authority to put a stop to the silly games started by Brady Hoke upon his return to UM. And while nobody got a "chump-of-the-Month" citation for calling the Buckeyes "Ohio", perhaps somebody should have gotten one. In the view of R2G, all "Ohio" references track back to Brandon, and that alone may be enough to win the annual prize.

Brandon is the last Finalist to be profiled on this web site. The final decision on 2013 "chUMp-of-the-Year" is coming this week. You may still have a voice in the process by commenting your vote!

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1 comment:

  1. Well, we have the trifecta of chUMps from which to choose. A thug chUMp, a celebrity chUMp, and a NOID chUMp.

    Even the others now no longer in the running had more than the minimum qualifications for this signature status.

    Which is more deserving: the thug or the head chUMp in charge who allowed the thug to continue his thuggish ways? No one can convince me that Father Noid had neither the means nor the opportunity to curb that thugly skunkbear.

    Which is more deserving: some nerdy kid with black plastic glasses pretending he is some super star celebrity or the head chUMp in charge who should be answering for everything involving those "arrogant asses in Ann Arbor." No one can convince me that Father Noid had no opportunity or means to keep a chUMp from painting himself urine on national TV for a game in which the Ann Arbor Charm School ball club did not even contend.

    Still, the weight of opinions by those informed must carry the day. But how do we choose? Which is it: actions or words.

    Is it only who committed the most frequent or most heinous offenses towards MSU that should be the only basis on which to vote? Or is it words alone. Words carry great power in this day and age. The pen is mightier than the sword. Actions speak louder than words. A picture is worth a thousand words.

    Is it still a 3-way tie?

    There is a compelling case for the thug chUMp. The face of all chUMps on the field.

    There is a compelling case for the star chUMp. The face of all chUMps on the TV.

    There is a compelling case for the Noid chump. The face of all chUMps to the world.

    Words, actions, and pictures.

    Father Noid, the Head chUMp In-charge.

    No choice at all, really.


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