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Monday, September 30, 2013


Time to announce our September 2013 "chUMp of the month" award. First a quick look back at the August winners, and then we hand out Dishonorable Mention awards for this month.

The "chUMps of the month" for August 2013 were those two flame-throwing Michigan wrestlers. They were handed Probation last month for their antics following the Louisville victory in early April. (And by "antics", we mean "domestic terrorism".) Justin Dozier and Rosario Bruno were suspended from the UM Wrestling team more than a month later, when charges were announced in the case. No reports of their sentences can be found anywhere on the world-wide-web. Except here, of course.

The September 2013 "chUMp of the month" Dishonorable Mention category features three whiners this week. The whiners are:

  • Denard Robinson, for calling MSU his "little brother", after he finished 1-3 against his #3 rival, scoring two touchdowns while throwing five picks in four games, along with just over three yards per rush.
  • Desmond Howard, for living in the past when he also ranked MSU #3 on the rivals list, despite his alma mater's better record against Notre Dame the last five years.
  • Jalen Rose, for advocating that amateur sports become professional, perhaps to justify his former status as an amateur/professional in "college". The former crack-house visitor needlessly took a shot at MSU, proving that he is a chUMp acting like a "Michigan Man". Rose graduated from the University of Maryland in 2005.

It has certainly been a busy month for chUMp NatiOn! Any of those dishonorable chUMps would have qualified for the grand honor in some other month of the year. But September 2013 has featured a veritable "chUMps gone wild" feel all month long. Hard to believe there is one nominee who exemplified true chUMpdom more than those listed above, but there is such a nominee.

The September, 2013 chUMp of the month is:


As everybody knows, the University of Michigan Athletic Director hired a skywriting airplane service to paint the sky with messages, including the infamous "Go Blue" near Spartan Stadium, on September 14th about an hour before the MSU game was set to begin. What a first-rate chUMp.

Brandon used public money to pay for the stunt, regardless of the university accounting claims. The entire athletic department is part of a public institution, so the whole operation is public. This was a public expense, made in public by a public official.

Message to David Brandon: "Hey Dave, wouldn't it have been easier to just go ahead and order that prescription of Viagra to accomplish your goals? Just a thought."

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  1. It's like a parade.
    Goofy, Dumbo, Mickey Mouse and on it goes.
    The Michigan Difference, I guess.

  2. We must not forget that Dave Brandon's number 1 life accomplishment was the invention of the Dominos Pizza Noid. How could we expect better than that?

  3. I appreciate this article. I was thinking the same thing. These former athletes running there mouths like kids and yet two of them hold journalistic positions. How can you believe any of there opinions, when they are obviously so biased and hate filled.

  4. At some point little Mike Hart needs to be added to this august listing.

  5. Hey "anonymous", your comment is very welcome. You've hit on a clear point that was even a little deeper than we covered in this article. You're absolutely right.

    Those guys are now members of the mainstream media, or to be specific, the "Mainstream Michigan Media Machine". They are allowed to spout off their clearly biased opinions as if it were expert commentary, then they are paid for doing so.

    Can you imagine, in your wildest dreams, any major broadcast network paying former MSU players to call UM a bunch of little girls who are not to be taken seriously? Does Mateen carry on like that? Mateen whipped UM's asses multiple times. How about Kirk Cousins, he was 3-0 as a starter against them, does he go on national television as a paid commentator and mock them?

    The "M4" won't allow that behavior to favor MSU, only to favor UM. This treatment bolsters their inbred sense of entitlement. Then they continue to act like chUMps.


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