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Sunday, June 21, 2015


(originally published on 4-1-15)

What ever happened to Jim Harbaugh? That was who Michigan hired to coach football next year, wasn't it? Seems like the guy showed up for his intro press conference, then he just seemed to disappear into the bowels of Shembechler Hall. It was like he rolled his sleeves up and just got right down to work, and you never heard or saw from him again, right?

Well, good news for those who don't get enough regular coverage of King James of Ann Arbor. He'll soon be showing up on your home television screens as star of a Reality-TV series debuting this summer season, called "All Harbaugh, All the Time"It will appear every night on every major network during all of prime-time. Each channel will carry a different camera-angle selected from the more than one-hundred that will be put to use during production of the show.

For example, you might watch the various networks listed below to view the camera-angle listed with it:
CBS: Camera #5, Jim's living room sofa
ABC: Camera #12, Jim's toaster and kitchen sink
NBC: Camera #26, Jim's large mirror collection
FOX: Camera #41, Jim's "Hall of Bo"
CNN: Camera #73, Jim's ex-wife's car interior
A&E: Camera #112, Jim's toothbrush-cam
Several episodes have already been shot and produced for the endless series of daily shows about to sweep across America like a vast wave of locusts grinding up the Great Plains. Among them:

  • Episode #10, "Jim Brushes His Teeth"
  • Episode #14, "Coach Jim Gets the Hiccups"
  • Episode #19, "Lord James Files His Nails"
  • Episode #23, "The Great One Empties the Trash"
  • Episode #26, "Le Harboni Shops for Fruit"
  • Episode #29, "The Most Revered One Makes a Phone Call"
  • Episode #33, "Drive Time - Jimmy Tools Around Town"
  • Episode #38, "High School Girls and Harbaugh"
  • Episode #41, "Bwana, Jim: Coach Gets a Haircut"
  • Episode #47, "Do You Want Your Quarter Back?"

Harbaugh has had little comment on the upcoming series, cooped-up as he is in his small corner office, keeping mostly to himself since the day he was hired by UM. When asked to remark on the show, Harbaugh said, "Hey, are you going to get out a camera and take a picture of me or something? Are you? 'Cause if you're not, I can go looking for somebody with a camera, you know? So come on, take the picture, will you?"

The beloved new hire sports an undefeated record at UM, with a team that is un-tied and un-scored-upon as well. He is expected to remain undefeated for several months to come, which should, in turn, gradually raise Michigan's national ranking.

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