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Thursday, October 30, 2014


David Brandon knows a good opportunity when he sees one. And the fiery Athletic Director at the University of Michigan says he has struck gold again. Or at least some sort of maize-colored mineral.

Brandon announced today that his controversial email messages sent to supporters of UM football will be offered as incentives for the ground-breaking sponsorship initiatives he rolled out this month. All new sponsor packages will include framed copies of his most notorious email put-downs, each signed with his classic admonishment, "I suggest you find a new team". They will also be allowed to maintain email contact with Brandon at no charge.

All others wishing to email Brandon will now be subject to an automatic $5 access fee payable through PayPal and other popular online payment services. Should Brandon choose to hammer more of his devoted fan-base with nasty email replies, each inflammatory message will be included in future sponsor packages. 

"Those who are slammed will become chUMpions"

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1 comment:

  1. It will be tough to collect all of the dreams of $5 email responses now.


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