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Sunday, April 28, 2013


(based on a true story)

University of Michigan Athletic Director David Brandon has declined an invitation to join the administration of President Devin Gardner. The invitation was made by Gardner after he unilaterally assumed the title of "President", albeit only in his own mind, earlier this month. Gardner also believes he is the starting Shortstop for the New York Yankees.

This web site reported on the new United States President last week.

Brandon recently announced that he would not be running for United States Senator, as he was far too busy "thinking about beating Michigan State". Brandon added that MSU is not really a rival to UM, nor do the games with MSU really matter very much, at least not as much as games with other schools, one of which is the "real rival" to Michigan. When asked to name that school, Brandon explained that he's not really very good at geography or spelling, but that he knows the other school is located "somewhere in Ohio". Most observers believe Brandon is referring to Ohio State, but others think he must mean Ohio University, since the Bobcats knocked the UM men's basketball team out of the NCAA Tournament in 2012.

Brandon interrupted his obsessive ruminating about Sparty by declaring that he will also not be running for Secretary of State, Governor, Justice of the Peace, or Dog-Catcher. However, he said he would consider applying to become the first astronaut to land on Mars, but only if NASA would allow him to plant a flag with the block-M on the surface of the planet. Brandon said the M-flag would be appropriate because the words "Mars" and "Michigan" each begin with the same letter, and he says he's very good at remembering single letters of the alphabet, even if he can't remember the full names of other conference schools.

When Brandon was told that Mars was known as the "red planet" due to its appearance being similar to the school colors of both Ohio State and Louisville, he said he was too busy "thinking about beating Michigan State" for any space-trips.

Gardner had no word on who else he may be inviting to join his imaginary new government, but he said once he finished up with a three-game home-stand against the Houston Astros, he would return to the White House to think about it.

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  1. I haven't laughed so much reading a post since... the last post! Great work SM82. This is great entertainment and a fun way to present how "obsessed" they are with themselves. Very funny.

  2. Wow someone is a bit obsessed with all that is UofM... pathetic really. I am curious about what you are compensating for. Rant on little bro... rant on.

    -uofm grad 2005 and 2007

    1. Hello, young man, welcome to our web site. I can see from your signature that you've been shaving for a few years now.

      In the short time since your first UM degree, MSU has defeated your team 18 out of 25 times in men's basketball. In the shorter time since your second UM degree, MSU has defeated UM 4 out of 5 times in football. In the last five years, the MSU women's basketball team has defeated your team 12 out of 13 times. The MSU hockey team won a national title more recently than the UM hockey team. I could go on.

      Yet, you STILL REFER TO MSU AS YOUR "LITTLE BROTHER". What psychoactive medication are you taking every day to fuel your misguided obsession with your own reflection? Are you capable of stating the full name of the B1G school in Columbus, Ohio? Did you read that your athletic director is too busy "thinking about beating Michigan State" to do anything else? Did they really tell you at UM that you are superior to all other living creatures, and did you really believe it?

      Your question about compensation is answered at the top of this web site. We are compensating for the consistently biased mainstream sports media coverage that creates automatons (like you) who drank so much blue kool-aid for so long that they actually believe that UM is better no matter what facts get in the way. That system was established and operational in this state long before you were born, which was years after I got my college degree.

      We wish you luck as you continue to grow up LITTLE BOY BLUE.

    2. What ever helps you sleep at night. Just remember I'm not the one ranting and raving to justify my schools superiority. I'm having fun with the rivalry. You on the other hand are taking things to a new level and proving that Msu fans are mostly obsessed with all that is wolverines. I wish YOU luck in getting over your jealousy and hatred of another fine academic/athletic Institute (key word is another because I believe Msu is a fine Institute) but considering you want to point out that you graduated WAY before I was born, I'm afraid your jealousy runs far too deep and old dogs can't (or maybe the word is won't) learn new tricks. Your cute blog had some funny points but overall was tough to swallow considering your heavy bias, ironic considering that is your main reason for your hatred... You may reply if you feel necessary but I won't read it because I don't feel like returning to your cute little blog. Bye old man green (with envy)

    3. Never claimed that MSU was "superior", actually believe the two schools are generally equal in most regards. Main difference is the age of UM and those features that come along with getting lots of money, including more money from the state legislature every year in history (despite our much larger student body, including more state residents).

      Again, you called us "little brother", which you probably think is original, so your reply led to my response. Please refer to the article "Why We Call Them chUMps" for more background information.

      We won't miss you and your silver-spoon mentality. BYE BYE!!

    4. Wow. Someone needs to look in the mirror.

      He calss out "Lil Bro" then takes a breath and catually tries to convince us that he thinks "Msu is a fine institute."

      Claiming he graduated twice from UM, but does not realize how to operate the "Shift" key or the "Caps Lock" key can be overlooked. Calling MSU an institute just shows blatant ignorance. MSU is a university, which is an institution. There is a difference, subtle, but real.

      This Anonymous entity seems to think he has all the answer or can read minds or is an expert at psycho-analysis. He thinks this is about hate and jealousy even though it is clearly posted what it is about.

      Yes! THIS IS BIASED! Says so on the front door. But it is neither hateful nor is jealousy involved.

      Loose your arrogance, Skunkbear.

    5. Can I edit my post, please?

      I just noticed a couple of typos.

      calss = calls
      catually = casually
      answer = answers

    6. Actually, we can help you with that. If you would re-post the corrected version, we will remove the original copy.

      No big deal, but I can appreciate your interest in solid copy, and it's challenging to be accurate in these comment boxes.

  3. I have thoroughly enjoyed the not too serious take on the MSU vs. Ann Arbor "one-way" rivalry. Finally someone gets it. It is supposed to be FUN! No cussing. It's still family friendly. You seem more obsessed with the truth than with UM, but then add humor through absurdity. You highlight the absurd from the other side by taking an over the top absurd story line of your own. It is super entertaining. In other posts you stick strictly to logic and factual data. I appreciate both approaches. Fun website. Go Green!


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