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Tuesday, April 14, 2015

IT'S THE "MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR" FOR UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN FANS

What a great time it is to be a Michigan fan right now. The basketball season is mercifully over, the football team isn't a non-stop clown show, and there have been no major coaching changes to report in more than 12 weeks. Their vaunted women's gymnastics team has just wrapped up another big season, and fast-pitch softball is ruling the day. Life is good for the Ann Arbor Glee Club.

We like to think of the holidays as "the most wonderful time of the year", but for UM fans, and especially for their fanatics, this time - - - - right now - - - is the best they could ask for. Without any major sports seasons in progress, without any major rivalry games to focus on, the average Wolverine follower under these circumstances feels compelled to focus on only the Past and the Future.

The Past and the Future are always 
the two best things they have to talk about
(and, to think about).

Of course, they often like to go pretty far back in the Past to resurrect dusty memories of loosely organized outdoor games in the days of the horse-and-buggy. They love to count up those old-time conquests, and they like to call it "football". And they do go on about it.

But they can change the subject on the drop of a hat, and immediately begin talking fervently about the Future. Did you know they are the Champions of the Future? Just ask them, they will tell you all about it. Nobody stands a chance against them in the Future, where they are invincible. Every Michigan fan knows this, and they relish their great beliefs in the Future, a time when they will ride triumphantly across the land in all sports and all seasons imposing their wills upon their helpless adversaries without measure. They believe deeply in their own Manifest Destiny.

So you can imagine what a relief it is for the Bluebloods and the Walmarters alike to be able to ignore some of those nasty things that happened back in the foggy mists of ancient times, say, maybe as long as six weeks to six months ago. Those things don't matter now.

What counts for UM fans now
is their distant past and their impeccable future.

Nobody knows what the future holds, so all of their bluster about what's to come is just inflated tongue-wagging by the chUMps. As for the very distant past, the irrelevant time-period just before the advent of true "football", we will soon be mocking their silly claims in a series to begin later this month.




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