MSU vs. chUMps GAME INTERVIEW QUESTIONS WE WISH EVERYONE ASKED: SpartanMan82 Responds

Responses to questions supplied by SpartanMan82. Be sure to investigate the links.

MSU has won the last two conference games by a combined score of 56-3, while UM has split their last two conference games by a combined score of 103-90. Why are we thinking this game will be close?

Because the game features Michigan, the dirtiest team in the country. The normal rule-book does not apply to UM, as game officials are allowed to pick-and-choose which rules to enforce and when to enforce them, always keeping the Wolverines interests in mind. Oh, and because they beat Central Michigan 59-9.
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Will Taylor Lewan have a big game for the Wolverines this weekend, or will he be ejected before half-time for repeated Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalties?

He should be preemptively ejected for past misconduct. Instead, he will be allowed to punch, kick, gouge, scratch, spit, and stomp on any Spartan before, during, and after every play. If anybody wearing green bumps into him on his way off the field, that player will be executed on the spot. After the game, he will accuse MSU of "playing dirty".
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Will Brady Hoke bother to attend the game this Saturday, or will he instead spend the afternoon walking around his own backyard with his hands on his hips? (He has better access to donuts at home.)

This is a tough one, lots of reasons for Hoke to stay home. In the end, it will be his fascination with Sparty that will bring him back to East Lansing. Besides, we have donut shops, too.

But no, he won't be wearing headphones as they only mess up his fancy hairstyle.

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What is your "over-under" for make-believe penalty calls against MSU that keep the game close?

The current line is 2-1/2. There will certainly be one or two made-up calls against MSU, perhaps as many as four or five. Count on these calls to extend Michigan drives or even directly put points on the scoreboard. That's how they almost won the game in 1990, and it's how they tried to win the game in 2008.

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Michigan State hosts Michigan this weekend, then again next year for two home games in two years. How many more consecutive home games would MSU have to play against UM to equal the longest home-game streak in the series?

We're going to need a very large computer to calculate this number. Michigan played an infinite number of home games for decades, usually against super-powerhouse programs like Albion. To even the series, MSU would need to host every game until our sun goes into supernova.

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The Michigan Football Program remains on NCAA Probation. Why doesn't the media report on it?

This is a super-duper extra-special high-security Top Secret piece of information. (Even Obama doesn't know about it.) Sure, their Probation penalties don't expire until next week, but hey, what's a little cheating now and then? Just because UM ran formally coached practices through the Summer, and got caught at it, why is that "news"?

A better question is why doesn't the media report on those two Michigan Wrestlers who got popped with the Molotov Cocktails on Louisville Championship Night?

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Wow, that's all very interesting. Anything else to say about the big game?

Yeah, read my letter and see you on Saturday.

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