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Thursday, February 14, 2013


Just hours before the epic blowout at Breslin on Tuesday night, a strange story appeared in the sports media. A surprise visitor was planning to attend the big game, and he wanted everybody to know he would be there.

It was Brady Hoke, who works as Michigan Football Coach for his day job. Hoke sat behind their bench with his new BFF Lloyd Carr, both apparently under the delusion that the Wolverines would waltz onto the MSU campus firing three-pointers like the t-shirt cannon they shoot during timeouts.

Instead, the football coaches trapped themselves a few rows away from the IZZONE on a night they were said to have been their most powerful in a decade. The evening was capped by the memorable chant of "Little Sisters" cascading around them during the historic "white-out".

Most Spartan insiders know that Hoke has a crush on Sparty. Hoke has been trying to get closer to Sparty ever since his return from San Diego. One of the draws for taking his current position was the increased proximity to the famous Spartan Warrior, just an hour's drive away from his office. Hence, the road trip.

When Mark Dantonio heard that Hoke was on the way, he offered to host the Brady Bunch in a Breslin suite, but Hoke declined, saying he wanted to sit "closer to the action". Most of the "action" that Hoke was interested in wears a battle-kilt and boots and watches games from the sideline.

Hoke spent most of half-time standing up and saying nothing, a routine he also uses during football games. He seemed to be posing like a statue, trying to attract Sparty's attention. But Hoke failed to gain a first down, and had to sit through the second half of a very successful weasel hunt.

As you can see in the video below, Sparty prefers blondes, so maybe Brady should change his hairstyle. (Or to begin with, just get a hairstyle.)

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  1. Well, you must admit - Sparty is a handsome looking dude! I just cannot imagine Mark Dantonio going to any sporting event in Ann Arbor on which he does not have some influence or impact - i.e. a football game. Then again, SM82 makes a good point. The Hoke-meister did about the same during our basketball game as he does during "his" football games.

    Congrats to SM82 on his post, "WHY WE CALL THEM chUMps", climbing to the 2nd most viewed post (right column) in just 5 days! He may have accidentally designed the next t-shirt with his closing statement: "You can't spell chUMps without UM".

  2. Check out the guys in the front row, directly over the left should of the ESPN info-babe. They are shouting "WEAK" in the fight song and wearing DUMP the chUMps shirts...


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