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Monday, May 4, 2015


It was a grand time in Michigan football history. Glenn Shembechler had moved on from coaching at UM to firing Ernie Harwell, and the heir to the Wolverine Throne was Gary Moeller. The baton was passed and all was good in Ann Arbor.

Moeller had served his head-coach-in-training duties at Illinois, where he basically stunk up the joint. But that didn't matter, as he was coronated the King of Michigan Football after three dismal years with the Illini. Must be because he played football at Ohio State.

And off he went, following his destiny into the history books, until...until......until THIS DATE IN HISTORY (1995) when Moeller lit up the sports media with a drunken rage unmatched in college football history.

It was 20 years ago today that Gary Moeller burned his career into the ground by drinking heavily in public, berating and possibly hitting his wife in a restaurant, and fighting back against the UM-loving police who were very willing to get the incident brushed under the carpet before anybody heard what happened.

It was long after Moeller was "resigned" that stories began to circulate regarding what made him go crazy on that fateful night. According to the rumor-mill, Moeller's wife chose that time and place to inform him of her adulterous affair with one of her husband's assistants, the younger and presumably more virile Les Miles. We can doubt that story, but Les Miles never made it back to Ann Arbor through three coaching changes at UM, so maybe the story holds water.

What a great social portrait of Michigan Football culture, eh? Quite a "family atmosphere", right? The assistant coach sneaking around to have an affair with the wife of the head coach, sparking an historic public meltdown by the highly overrated cuckold of Ann Arbor*.

So tonight, feel free to raise a toast to Gary Moeller,
the once and future King of Michigan Football,
a man who turned himself into a clown for all to see.

*Have you ever seen those t-shirts that say "Ann Arbor is a whore"? Maybe they refer to Mrs. Ann Moeller.

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  1. F.Y.I." While the tone of the article is great, it is not factual. The U of M loving police? It was the Southfield Police who arrested Moeller. The incident was recorded by an officer who was ahead of his time, as we didn't have body cameras, cell phones or other means to easily record incidents as they happened. To further the case that it was to not be swept under the carpet by U of M loving police, his release time was set by a Spartan grad Lieutenant, who looked at his MSU watch in doing so.

    1. Thanks for chiming in. At this point, it would probably be a good idea if you explained what you mean by the phrase, " is not factual." Are you saying there are not enough facts in the article for you, or are you saying there are incorrect facts in the article?

      My first interpretation was the latter, but since you haven't pointed out an incorrect "fact", I was led to consider the former. Perhaps you wanted more facts about the story, and so you have added some more. Sounds good, keep 'em coming.

      The name of the restaurant was the Excalibur, for example. What else have you got to report on this story?

  2. It is true that Southfield is part of the Detroit sprawl, but to hear it from the chUMps, Detroit is merely an Ann Arbor suburb and constitutes the vast majority of the UM fan base in Michigan. So...

    1. . . . and your point is?

    2. I was being a bit facetious. The humorous logic is, since the AA gang considers Detroit to be an AA suburb (and Southfield by association), then the argument of UM loving police has, in this slant, a certain, minor validity.

      It ignores the participation of the Spartan grad Lieutenant... deliberately.

      Let's just hope the Spartan Lieutenant has not been turned to the Dark Side.


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