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Monday, July 1, 2013


(Based on a true story)

Michigan Football blowhard Frank Beckmann has stepped into the national fried chicken market with plans to franchise a restaurant chain to be called "Beck-&-Peck". A spokesman says the venture is meant to celebrate Beckmann's love of freedom and innovation.

Beckmann recently wrote about the virtues of fried chicken consumption in American history.

The Beckmann chicken chain will offer a variety of new menu items, including chicken fingers, fried-chicken in a bucket, and chicken sandwiches. While those foods may not seem to be "new", Beckmann plans to use his Michigan background to simply tell people things and expect them to believe him whether or not they are actually true.

Beckmann said he would not be using his college background to help the company, since he never graduated from college. Many people believe Beckmann would never be considered a "Michigan Man" had he actually attended the university.

The "B&P" chain will sponsor a writing contest with prizes to be awarded as each store opens up for business. The essays may be on any subject, but they must be totally idiotic to win. Entries will be judged on stupidity, fractured-flow and disconnect, and other randomly asinine criteria. The goal of each entry must be to leave the judges with only one thought in mind after reading it; "What was that guy thinking when he wrote this?"

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